In these difficult times, have some more ice cream!

Well, hey, everyone! Welcome aboard! Yes, it’s Wednesday … again …

and it’s not yet April 30th (that’s tomorrow!) so I’m still not doing my Official Weigh-In, but you’ll be happy to hear I’m doing my best to avoid the so-called “COVID-15.”

Or will you? Because frankly, that’s one of those terms that’s become an annoying cliche or catchphrase.

And I dunno about you, but there are quite a few phrases I’d like to see banished from polite conversation, when all this is over! For example:

“We’re all in the same boat.” — Uh well, no, we’re not!! A celebrity living in a mansion with your own private gym, swimming pool, tennis courts, and live-in servants, is in a very different boat than a single mother living in a studio apartment in North Hollywood with three screaming kids.

“Social distancing” — Not that I have ANY problem with the concept of staying at least six feet away from all other human beings! As an introvert, I pretty much do that anyway! Still, what with email, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, Zoom meetings galore, and all those fancy-schmancy new parts of The Interwebs, we’re doing way more social networking, so the “social” part of the “distancing” doesn’t really make sense.

“In these difficult/challenging/uncertain times, buy more stuff!” Look, I get it — small businesses are struggling, and they’re trying to figure out how to stay afloat while keeping both their employees and their customers safe. But ultimately, they’re trying to figure out how to keep selling stuff, because that’s what they do. Which is fine! I ain’t no commie! But look — they’re spending , like, 90% of their advertising budget right now TELLING us that they’re doing all this!! Pro tip: Just Do It! And donate all that ad revenue to a food bank or something!

“Because we’re all in this together” — and yeah, I know, that’s kinda similar to the “same boat” one. However, I’m mentioning it specifically because it’s now the main tagline on virtually every commercial break at my otherwise favorite radio station, KFI AM 640, in Los Angeles, a pleasant mix of angst and comedy that accompanies my daily crafting efforts out in my She Shed. I’m guessing when this is all over, that (as well as some of these other phrases) is gonna become a punchline for some pretty tasteless jokes, and I for one can’t wait!

“When all this is over” — Yes, well, here I have to point the finger directly at myself, as I use this one all the time! And it’s never REALLY gonna be over. I don’t know about you, but I for one am gonna be hanging onto the face masks, hoarding toilet paper, and backing away from human contact for many years to come!

Sigh — well, that’s all I got right now, folks. I haven’t actually had breakfast yet — just a little cofveve, to get my brain in gear. (And it worked, right?)