Well, hello, everyone! Are you as excited about next week’s Big Giant Turkey Holiday (U.S. only) as I am? Bet you are! But before we get to that, how’s about the weigh-in?
A little lower than last week, so that’s good, right? Anyway, no worries! It’s that time of year, when we all gather round with our loving families, to clasp hands and, together, repeat those hallowed words:
And y’know, a lot of people worry about getting into political and/or religious arguments over holiday meals. I say, go for it! Nothing like a good knock-down, drag-out fistfight to keep that calorie deficit going!
So on that note, here’s a few ideas to get your family’s conversational balls rolling:
1. So, how soon do you think they’ll impeach Trump?
2. So, who’s paying for our meal, Elizabeth Warren or Andrew Yang?
3. Is it weird that I want Joe Biden to sniff MY hair?
4. When are you people going to [ditch religion/find God] and [enjoy your life/have a better life] already??
5. (take a deep sniff first) Um, you’re sure this turkey was cooked, right?
6. Hey [insert name of least favorite elderly relative here], are you going to take out your dentures again?
7. Hey [insert name of least favorite young whippersnapper relative here], when are you gonna get MARRIED and give us some GRANDchildren??
There ya go, seven questions guaranteed to get the blood flowing, so you can eat some more turkey and dressing!
Enjoy, and see ya next week!