Welcome to your coronavirus- and politics-free blog post!

Good morning, everyone! If you’re like me, you need a respite from the nonstop, 24/7 media barrage of coronavirus and/or Super Tuesday news, right?

So why not stop here and  rejoice with me as I celebrate my first weigh-in of Lent with (of course) a loss!

192.0
70s scales

Whew! It’d be kind of embarrassing to GAIN weight during Lent, right? I mean, it’s happened before, because even if you go full-on Orthodox (kinda sorta) and give up meat and cheese, there’s still bread. Yummy, filling, calorific bread!

And y’know, I should confess* I’m not exactly super religious about this stuff. I mean, YAY JESUS and all that!! But the institutional structures that have been put up in His name sometimes leave me a little cold.

Still, half the whole faith battle is keeping the candles lit till the Light comes on, right?

And I like lighting candles, so that helps! Meantime, I’ll keep doing the Lenten thing, but I’ll also keep counting the calories, because contrary to what some vegetarians might tell you, it is DEFINITELY possible to be a fat vegan!

So let’s see: my todo list so far:

  1. Keep lighting the candles, and
  2. Keep counting the calories.

Anything else?

Sure, whatever you say! See ya next week, my fellow nerds!

*’Cause I’m Catholic — get it?? 

State of the Weight!!

Well, good morning, everyone! I’m sure we all enjoyed last night’s State of the Union address, featuring President Trump, a frequent visitor to my meme gallery, and a couple of newbies

Of course, not everyone enjoyed it:

But ya know, you can’t please everyone! So on that note, let’s check out the State of the Weight, shall we?

193.4

Hey, not too shabby! I mean, I’d rather it was a LOT lower, but I’m fine with it just going down in dribs & drabs, right? As long as it’s down, not up!

So unless you’re in Iowa,

get ready to MAKE A DIFFERENCE for your country! Meanwhile, don’t rip up that diet plan just yet, Nancy!

I’m sure it’s chock-full of great weight loss ideas from our beloved Prez!

So let’s give it a try, and meet back here again NEXT week — whaddya say?

OK, well, the REST of us will be here, David! Have a great week, everyone!

Monday weigh with bonus political AND religious commentary! Booyah!

Hey everyone, happy Monday!

monday pew

Got me some stuff to do today so just gonna post the weigh-in:

184.2
scales
two whoop

Welp, still circlin’ the maintenance drain out here at beautiful Plateau Point.

plateau point

But hey, that’s OK! I’m actually happy with that number, as it zoomed up to a whopping 187 the day after the Fourth, when we visited relatives and happily chowed down on hot dogs, pizza, gossip, etc.

fourth of july weirdos

Oh, and we had a couple o’earthquakes this week, in case you didn’t hear (or feel) — and btw, reliable ol’ Pat Robertson decided to cheer us up by reassuring us that hey, nothin’ to worry about — that’s just God applauding for President Trump’s 4th of July parade!

jackass.jpg

I mean, even if that were true, there weren’t any parades on Friday when the 7.1 hit, were they?

am i right ned.jpg

Oh well — seriously gotta run now! Hope you have a great week!

trump that's all folks.jpg

 

Friday Five: Where’s my parade??

Well, it’s been a fun week! Thanks to everyone who cheered me on and helped me along the way!

However, now that I’ve reached my goal weight (the FIRST goal, that is — I’ll be setting a new one soon!), I realized that, fat or thin, there are a few things that won’t change — even though I kinda hoped they would!

  1. Most people don’t notice — or care — as much about your weight as you do. Sure, there are always a few people around you in your day-to-day life — your spouse, your kids, your fellow employees, etc. — who are aware of your weight challenges. But there’s a whole lot more people who don’t know, or care, that you used to be fat and now you’re slightly less fat. The cashier at the grocery store doesn’t really care that you’re buying more fruits and veggies and fewer giant bags of Nacho Cheese Doritos. All she wants is to go home and soak her feet and binge-watch “Downton Abbey” for the hundredth time. So keep your ego in check.
    dog.jpg
  2. Clothes shopping is easier in some ways, tougher in others. I used to dream about getting thin enough to fit into a beautiful dress that would make me look like a princess. Well, guess what? Fat or thin, you can’t find dresses like that unless you’re currently residing in a palace and/or playing the part of someone who lives in a palace. The fashion these days seems to be sleeveless dresses that show off your underarms, and IMHO that’s not a good look for ANYONE. Also, swimsuits still suck, even in “normal” sizes. There are very few women who don’t feel like “Cathy” when trying on swimsuits.
    cathy.jpg
  3. No one will read your blog. OK, that’s not fair. YOU’RE not “nobody,” and you’re reading my blog! And believe me, I appreciate it! What I mean, though, is if you haven’t become a major star in the blogging firmament by the time you hit your goal weight, you probably won’t afterwards. I’m still gonna keep blogging though, since it seems to be an important factor in keeping me honest about my weight-crackin’ efforts (“Hmm, I’d really like to eat that second donut, but tomorrow’s ‘Rhymin’ Weigh-in Day’ on the blog, so I better not. Pass the celery, please!”).
    blogging is hard
  4. Crappy stuff still needs to be done and you’re the one who has to do them. For example, our sweet cat Princess had to go to the vet this week, which meant getting her into her carrier (helpful hint: “mrrOWW!!” means “NO WAY!!” in Cat-ese), then I drove her to the vet, which is about 5 miles and 5,000,000 angry “mrrOWWs” away (no matter how loud you turn up the radio), paying the vet bill, and driving her home again (repeat angry “mrrOWWs”). Cats don’t care if you’re fat or thin. They just want out out out NOW!!!
    cat.jpg
  5. Half the people in the world will hate you. I don’t write about politics or religion in this blog (though at some point I should probably mention that my faith in God was a MAJOR part of my motivation to stay on the diet, so thanks and yay, God!). Still, if you’re a normal person trying to live your life in this beautiful country we call America, you probably know that, no matter what your political views are, about half the country despises you and wishes bad things would happen to you. I won’t go into detail, but rest assured, those dirty looks you were getting at Starbucks this morning when you were reading “National Review,” or at Dunkin’ Donuts when you were perusing the op-ed pages of the “New York Times,” had NOTHING to do with your weight. Isn’t that a relief?
    libs

So there you go, five things that won’t really change a whole lot once you’ve reached your goal weight! Does that mean you shouldn’t try? Heck no! There are a lot of things that do change, for the better, and I’ll write about those next Friday. If I remember. Remind me, will you? Thanks, and have a great weekend!!

weekend

A few ground rules, plus pingback fun!

Just thought I’d step back a moment and make a few “executive decisions” regarding this new blog o’ mine – synchronize it, if you will.

pingback3 (pingback! pingback!)

First of all, NO POLITICS! That’s right, this will be one of the increasingly rare places in the blogosphere where you’re welcome, no matter how far to the left, or the right (or the North or the South) you may be. All that matters is you share an interest in weight loss issues. I will absolutely NOT mention any news, or comment on any current events (unless World War III breaks out, or anti-sitcom anarchists tear down the statue of Mary Tyler Moore in Minneapolis).

mary

So relax – your Weight Loss Safe Space is raht cheer!

Second, here’s how I’m gonna do this. My birthday is one week from today. On that day, I’ll set my OFFICIAL goal – 50 pounds from my weight on that day. One year to lose it. I think that sounds reasonable, don’t you? Also synchronizes nicely.

pingback2 (pingback! pingback!)

Third, I’ll set a specific day to announce my weigh-ins, rather than the scattershot way I’ve been doing it up to now.

Fourth and finally, I’m going to try to cut back on the clip art and memes, and add my own photos. Not all the time, you understand. I mean, clip art and memes – they’re FUN, right?

clipart

But after all, it is MY blog, so perhaps I should try to be a little original, once in a while!

Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. And since the wonderful WordPress Daily Prompt seemed so apropos today, it seemed like the perfect time to get things all synched up.

pingback1(pingback! pingback!)