Friday Five: The Groaning!

Yeah, it’s me with yet another blog full of random complaints about why I can’t seem to get past Plateau Point, and five ideas about why that might be happening.

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Here we go: five reasons I can’t lose weight!

  1. Sugar — OK, I don’t buy into the idea that sugar is the devil, responsible for all the evils of the modern diet.
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    Mainly because people who promote that idea seem to be kinda…what’s the word I’m looking for…?
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    Yeah, well, not in a verifiable, scientifically provable way, but just kinda off balance, somewhere. Still, there’s no denying that foods with lots of sugar tend to be (a) more calorific than others, and (b) really, really yummy!
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    So that’s one.
  2. Cream in my Coffee — Sure, I buy the sugar-free, low-calorie French vanilla version of Coffee Mate, at only 15 calories per serving. Then I dump about 5 or 6 servings in my morning cofveve, because why not? It’s only 15 calories per serving!
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    …carry the one…oh…OK. Hmm, maybe I’d be better off just getting the half & half!
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  3. Fried Chicken — and not just ANY fried chicken, baby — you KNOW what I like!

    Before Lent started, I was getting over my KFC/Popeye’s/[fill in your favorite fast food cooked bird restaurant] by keeping some relatively non-evil Trader Joe’s boneless chicken breasts in the freezer, and cooking one of them with BBQ sauce, Parmesan cheese, etc. Way less calories than the fast food stuff and still relatively yummy.
    However, we’re in Lent now, and in a fit of misguided devoutness, I asked Mr. 50by60 not to buy any more meat or dairy products from Trader Joe’s till after Lent. Which sounds fine and dandy, except twice last week, while out on a long, healthy walk, I “rewarded” myself with some KFC.
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  4. Peanut Butter — When I was a kid, I *hated* peanut butter. I still hate it when it’s combined with something else, like chocolate.
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    But a really good, thick peanut butter & jelly sandwich? MMM!!
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    And it’s totally Lenten, too! So it should be good for you, right? Well, yeah, unless you have, er, more than one, and then start diggin’ into the PB jar as well. Yum, more calories!
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  5. Non-Peanut Butter — Just regular butter, y’know, melted and on popcorn. ‘Cause popcorn’s good for you! It’s got fiber &etc. It’s just that, y’know, that fake butter spray isn’t quite as good as the real, calorific thing.
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So there ya go, five reasons why I may be stuck at the 179/180 plateau for a little longer! Of course, as they say, being able to describe your problem is the first step towards solving it, so maybe now I’ll just fix myself a nice, low-calorie Thomas 100-Calorie English Muffin for breakfast.

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(With, y’know, maybe a dab or two of melted butter.)

See you Monday, to find out how that affects my weight!

Clean Monday: Last Weigh-In Before Pascha!

Good morning, everyone! A happy and blessed “Clean Monday” to my Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, and Eastern Catholic (aka “Orthodox Lite”) friends out there!

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And rather than repeat myself ad nauseum, I’ll just refer you to LAST year’s Clean Monday blog post and let you go on about your day.

Meanwhile, without further adieux, here’s the weigh-in:

180.2
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oh poo

Aw shucks … back in the ’80s! But hey — Lenten fasting is upon us! So obviously that’s a great opportunity to lose some weight … right?

…this is the fundamental basis of Lenten promises. Whatever we give up, we have to ensure that God is kept at the centre of our resolve, and that the primary purpose is to draw near to Him. I will decrease my indulgences or bad habits so that God can increase in glory. NOT: I will decrease my chocolate intake so that I can increase my confidence on the beach, popularity at school or likeness to the celebs.

Oh, OK — and well said! So on that note, whether your Lent starts today, or Wednesday, hope it’s spiritually profitable for you – and not “just another diet”!

Post-Road Trip, Pre-Lent Weigh-In

Good morning, everyone!

Meatfare Groundhog

Yes, that’s right — as I’ve occasionally mentioned in this blog before, I’m an Eastern Catholic (Byzantine, Ruthenian, Greek Catholic, or whatever). We’re simple folk with different ways, but we’re cool.

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Anyway, the main thing to know about us as it relates to this blog is that even though we’re Catholic, we follow the same basic traditions as the Eastern Orthodox. And yesterday was what we call “Meatfare,” or “Farewell, Meat!” (You militant vegans out there should appreciate that since it’s the total, polar opposite of “Meet your Meat.”)

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The idea is that instead of melodramatically going from feast (Mardi Gras) to famine (Ash Wednesday), we kinda slide into the whole fasting thing gently. This week, we give up meat. Next week, after Cheesefare Sunday, we give up … well … everything else, basically!

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That’s right — our Lent officially starts two days BEFORE your Ash Wednesday!

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Anyway, you can read more about the whole Meatfare/Cheesefare Sundays thing here, if you’re so inclined. Meanwhile, I suppose I should get on with the whole weigh-in thing.

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Oh … wait … did I mention I was on a road trip last week? So that might have affected my weight? I mean, I did put the words “Post-Road Trip” in the post title and all, so I probably should at least mention it, right?

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Oh, all right!! Today’s weigh-in is, like people who don’t spout their political opinions to everyone they meet, whether they want to hear them or not (*cough* EVERY DAMN PERSON AT THE OSCARS *cough*), surprisingly neutral!

180.0
vo de o

That’s right — it’s EXACTLY the same as it was Monday, before I hit the road for beautiful, sunny Phoenix, Arizona!

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And I did indulge in some non-diet-type foods at the hotel’s fabulous Continental Breakfast Bar.

So I’m actually pretty impressed that I managed to keep the numbers from wildly skyrocketing. I did do some walking (in between the torrential storms) so that probably helped.

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Anyway, that’s it! And I’m going out on a limb AND going on record (hmm, can’t seem to find a meme that combines those two images! how bizarre) to renew my pledge, before God and everybody, to start counting my calories again. To be completely honest, I’d slacked off a bit on actually writing everything down, and keeping a running total in my head. Now that may work for you super math geniuses, but y’know, I’m not one of those.

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So it’s back to pen(cil) and paper for me! Let’s see how that works out. Meanwhile, have a GREAT first week of pre-Lent, everyone! See you Friday for a brand-new Five!

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Rhymin’ Weekly Weigh-In: Clean Monday edition!

Well, good morning, everyone, and happy Monday! Time for another weigh-in … and as you may remember, last week I had a small GAIN. But as Homer Simpson once said, “hope springs internal,” so let’s step on the ol’ scale and see where it lands. Ready? Here goes:

206.8
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Hey, that’s great!

Nice! I think that actually takes me a little lower than I was two weeks ago, so I’m happy. I think the walking I’m doing almost every day is helping a lot – not only with weight loss but with my overall health. If you’ve got a few minutes, why not take a walk yourself, today? (But not till you finish reading my blog, of course!!)

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OK, so today is Clean Monday. In case you’re not familiar with it, that’s the first official day of Lent in the Eastern Orthodox/Eastern Christian world. As virtually every Eastern Orthodox (EO) will tell you, I, by virtue of being Eastern Catholic (EC), am NOT in any way, shape or form, “Orthodox.”

However, we ECs do our best to irritate both the EOs and the RCs (Roman Catholics) whenever possible. For example, we irritate the EOs by copying everything they do, like their liturgy, their prayers, their eating habits, etc. etc.

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And we irritate the RCs by insisting that we’re fully, totally, 100% as Catholic as they are, even though we don’t (officially*) do ANYTHING they like to do, like for example, Ash Wednesday. Now mind you, it’s not that we have anything against Ash Wednesday – it’s actually a lovely tradition, and it’s nice to see so many people who never ever EVER set foot in a church the rest of the year go in to get their annual reminder that they’re skating on thin ice.

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However, we have our own tradition on the first Wednesday of Lent (which we start two days earlier, nyah nyah nyah!) which involves a liturgy every Wednesday evening till Holy Week. There’s always a confused Westerner who stumbles in off the street looking for ashes, and we have to gently explain that we don’t have any, other than whatever’s out in the garden, which they’re certainly welcome to. (I’ve suggested we just keep a container of ashes by the door with a sign reading “Help yourself!” but that never seems to go over too well.)

But that’s okay, we all have our different traditions and practices and that’s what makes religion so much fun, right?

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One thing we ECs DO have in common with the RCs this year is that our Easter falls on … are you ready? … April Fool’s Day! That’s right, Easter is on April 1st, and as you can imagine, the memesters are having a field day with THAT!

And of course, Ash Wednesday is on Valentine’s Day, so even though we ECs don’t join in with the ashy stuff, we can certainly commiserate about the fact that we’re BOTH supposed to abstain from CHOCOLATE on February 14 OMG why why why??? Although I’m sure St. Valentine himself isn’t too upset.

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Oh well, we’ll muddle through somehow.

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And after all, there’s more to Lent – Eastern OR Western – than just giving up stuff. As our priest pointed out yesterday, “The Great Fast isn’t about losing weight. It’s not Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. It’s about getting closer to God.”

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So whether you’re Eastern, Western, or even just an interested bystander – happy Lent to you!

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