Eureka, I’ve Got it! The Anti-Karen Solution??

So while I was growling over the weight GAIN this morning,

197.4

I tried to console myself by watching some of the new “Karen” videos that have bombarded my Facebook feed lately. Karen after Karen after Karen (female AND male), screaming in grocery stores, upscale fashion stores, and pretty much everywhere, all about how the Evil Government canNOT make them wear masks, and masks force them to breathe their own icky breath for way too long, and etc. ad nauseum!

And also reading about how in all those places where the Evil Government is NOT making them wear a mask, the equally Evil Virus is returning and the curve, which was sort of flattening — you know, like my weight was sort of dropping, until my gym closed down and life as we know it all kinda came to a screeching halt?



And I suddenly had a GREAT idea! Why not harness the power, energy, and all that pent-up Karen rage, and use it to our advantage?



First of all, if you’re one of the Karens going around yelling “Democratic PIGS!” and screaming that all the Democratic governors are forcing them to wear masks, please leave the blog for a few minutes. Okay? Thanks!



(looks around) are they gone? Great! Here’s the idea — and please feel free to pass this on to your Evil Democratic governator:

Make it ILLEGAL to go out in public WITH a face mask!!

Take a moment to mull it over, and you’ll see the absolute brilliance of this idea!

Karens in every Democratic-governored state will scream in anger:

You can’t take away my mask! You Democratic PIGS!!

and

I’ll give you my face mask when you pry it from my cold, dead FACE!!

MAGA 4EVER!! masks, manufactured by Trump Industries (basically, Karen personified) will proliferate everywhere,  and the economy will come roaring back!

Meanwhile, all of us (you and me, the ones who didn’t leave the room) will know it’s all a ploy to keep us safe from Hurricane Karen!

I’m sure there are some bugs in the idea, but I don’t have time to figure them out. Feel free to give me your thoughts in the comments!

See you next week!

Confessions of a Karen

Welp, the weight’s pretty much the same (you can see it in the sidebar if you really need to!), so I thought I’d just share a few thoughts I’ve had over the past few days. Thoughts about a person you may have heard a lot about lately. That’s right: KAREN!

By now, you’ve probably heard the term “Karen” applied to a certain type of woman, almost always white, giving in to what seems to HER to be “righteous anger,” but to everyone else, just sheer nuttiness at best, and outright racism at worst. (And btw, for those who think “Karen” is sexist, there are DEFINITELY male versions!)

So I’ve been watching those videos and reading first-person accounts of people who’ve survived close encounters with an angry Karen, such as birdwatcher Christian Cooper’s disturbing run-in with Amy Cooper, with a growing sense of unease, and finally realized today that the reason I feel so uncomfortable is that I’m seeing MYSELF in that Karen mirror!

I mean, I’ve never called 911 on anyone, but I’ve definitely gotten angry with people for (just as an example) parking in “my” space in front of our house.

I mean, you know, it’s not actually *marked* in any way, shape or form as my space, and (true confession!) I myself have parked in front of OTHER people’s houses. And yet, I still feel this sense of entitled rage bubbling up from inside. “How dare they take something that belongs to ME? or do something that *I* feel is incorrect? or [worst case Karen scenario] be somewhere that *I* don’t think they belong?”

Most of the time, I’ve managed to keep my inner Karen at bay, kinda like Good Janet facing off against Bad Janet.

And as I said, I’ve never called 911 on anyone — but I sure do realize now that there’ve been times when I *wanted* to, for all the WRONG reasons that those other Karens have done.

So, what now? Maybe Lucy was right, all those years ago:

Maybe the next step is to be more aware of situations where my inner “Bad Karen” might decide to make an appearance, and try to defuse them before they go any further than my own mind, perhaps by channeling GOOD Karen, you know, the one who sang all those pretty songs.

Or perhaps just walk away from the situation, reminding myself of what all Karens seem to forget: WE’RE NOT THE POLICE!

And (SPOILER ALERT!) if there’s one thing I learned from binge-watching “The Good Place,” it’s that even the worst of us can improve!

Even Bad Janet became Somewhat Better Janet, in the end.

 So it’s not impossible that “Karens” can improve as well, if we’re willing to take responsibility for our actions!

Well, if you won’t, I will! Anybody else? 

It’s gonna be a lot of work — and it’s not gonna be easy. But it needs to be done. Just like (circling back to the main topic of this blog!) I need to start working on my diet!

But we’ll worry about that NEXT week. Meantime, take care of yourself and those you care about/for!