And now for something completely different!

Thought I’d take a break from the weigh-in this week, travel back in time, and have a conversation with my grandfather.

Edward Paul “Eddie” Meisburger, Oct 26, 1895 – June 1979 — we just called him “Papa!”

He was a journalist, and also pals with President Harry S Truman (for real!)

That’s Papa, second from right, with HST on the left

So I figured he’d have some good insights into our current situation! I told him all about the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak, and all the “shelter at home” and “social distancing” stuff.

Happy 15th anniversary to “The Office”!

I told him how jarring it was to go to the grocery store now and have to stand in a long line to get inside, where the shelves were increasingly empty.

Though for some strange reason, there’s plenty of vegan meat and cheese substitutes!

I told him how frustrated we all were at the fact that no one had any idea how long this was going to last, or how it was going to end.

He nodded, took a sip from his hip flask, and asked, “And who’s your President these days?”

“Donald J. Trump,” I replied.

Papa looked startled for a moment, then turned his head to look at the calendar on the wall behind him.

And he chuckled. “Good one, kiddo — you had me going there for a while!”

Happy April Fool’s Day, everybody! See you next week, where I promise to do an actual weigh-in, maybe! Oh, and enjoy these “bonus alternate endings” from an idea by Mr. 50by60:

First 2020 Weigh-In: Danger Zone!!

All right, let’s get it over with!!

196.8
scales sorry charlie.jpg
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Yikes! Definitely up quite a bit since the last weigh-in before Christmas. And I’m much too close to my self-imposed “danger zone” border line (200 pounds) for comfort!

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However, it’s not QUITE as bad as it could have been. Mainly because of this AWESOME WEIGHT LOSS TIP I’m happy to pass on to you, my loyal readers, for FREE! to wit:

  1. If you don’t like your weight, go back to bed for an hour. Then weigh yourself again. 99.99% of the time, it’ll go down! And if it doesn’t, you’ve now got TWO weights to choose from!

goober pyle

Isn’t that amazing, kids? I’m sure there’s a completely scientific reason for it that I’m not qualified to explain, since I’m definitely not a scientist! But for some reason, THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK works for me, and therefore it must have tons of scientific validity behind it!

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So you totally have my permission, on this Wednesday, January 8, 2020, to go back to bed! (If your boss gives you a hard time, tell them you visited a hypnotist yesterday and it hasn’t worn off yet.)

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See ya next week!

 

Totally noncontroversial weigh-in!

Wow, sorry about getting super-controversial last week, folks! What can I say? Sometimes I just gotta let it all hang out!

cat hang out

Of course, that’s kinda the reason I’m doing a weight loss blog — too MUCH hanging out (nyuk nyuk!). So let’s ditch the controversy this week, and get right to the straight dope!

straight dopes 3 stooges

Hey, have you visited my other website yet? Why not? 

NO, not that one! (or that one, or that one! nyuk nyuk) I MEANT, the weigh-in!

192.8
NOT GREAT

YIKES! Well, for the past several weeks, I’ve been hangin’ out at Plateau Point. But for some reason, this week I’m trying to keep that rock from rolling back downhill!

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I’m not complaining – there are worse places I could be. You know, like BACK OVER 200 POUNDS, which I am really wishin’ and hopin’ and prayin’ to avoid. (And yeah, I suppose a little workin’ out and calorie countin’ wouldn’t hurt, either!

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Still, I haven’t given up hoping that one morning I’ll wake up and all this fat will magically be gone. It could happen! I read a Barbara Cartland* romance novel once where the heroine was a big fat princess who was engaged to a prince, but she had some sort of delicate medical emergency that entailed being put in a coma for several months, during which she lost all sorts of weight, after which the prince fell madly in love with her and begged her to marry him, which she agreed to do but only if they could do it RIGHT AWAY, so she could let herself go again after the wedding.

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Of course, I’m already married, and I let myself go a long time ago! Still, a girl can dream, can’t she? See ya next week, everyone!

*Barbara Cartland (1901-2000) wrote tons of romance novels involving virgins who got in trouble (but not THAT kind of trouble) but always had a happy ending (and yeah, THAT kind of happy ending, although it was very, very, very delicately implied!), and when I was younger you could find her books EVERYWHERE, usually in laundromats or thrift shops with the front covers torn off. 

barbara cartland.jpg