Rhymin’ Weekly Weigh-In: Post-Bright Week Edition!

Well, howdy everyone, and welcome back! So glad to see y’all again! So didja have a nice Pascha and/or Passover? Me personally, I did Pascha, but finished it off with some leftover Manischewitz Concord Grape Wine, so as to be, y’know, ecumenical.

manischewitz.jpg

(And of course, shout-out to our Eastern Orthodox friends who are just now STARTING their Bright Week! (And btw, we know all that “Old Calendar” stuff is just a clever ruse to take advantage of all our post-Easter & Christmas sales. Whatevs!)

greek orthodox easter palm sunday.jpg

So anyway, after a nice Bright Week full of yummy treats like REAL CREAM and REAL SUGAR for my coffee, kielbasa up the wazoo (and no, I don’t have a photo!), and cheese cheese cheese, here’s the official weigh-in with a DOUBLE rhyme (to make up for lost time*)!

179.8
scales

Wow, only 0.8 up since two weeks ago — that’s not too shabby! I’m fine with that. In fact, maybe I’ll just grab myself some more cheese…

nun slap.jpg

Oh all RIGHT, Sistah! Just have some nice, 110-calorie Chobani yogurt, then, ‘k? Geez! Anyway, nice to be back! Hope y’all have a happy Monday!

happy monday dwight

(*see what I did there?)

Friday Five – Wacky Diet Ideas!

 

 

Happy Friday, everyone! Today I thought it might be fun to look at some diet ideas that:

  • sound like they should work, but don’t in real life;
  • sound like they SHOULDN’T work, but actually HAVE, in real life; and
  • silly ideas that no one I know has tried, but sound like fun.

Ready? Let’s strut some stuff!!

  1. This Should Work. Why Doesn’t It Work? When I was a kid, a friend of my parents — let’s call her “Mrs. Bea Goode” — a school psychologist or something, suggested I try a “simply marvelous!” behavior modification trick she’d picked up somewhere (probably on TV): surround yourself with a whole bunch (“oodles and oodles!”) of all the foods you simply LOVE to snack on — more than you think you’ll ever actually need — and keep them right out in the open, where you can get them any time you want. According to Mrs. Goode, the reason we eat too much is because, way down deep inside our little caveman brains, we’re terrified of being deprived. Once our brain realizes there’s MORE than enough food around, we’ll relax, and not eat so much. And cavemen had it goin’ on, right?
    download
    Well, after a week of scarfing down every last Taco Flavored Dorito and Li’l Debbie Snack Cake my mom had brought home, we decided there was probably a flaw in that idea somewhere, namely that having enough to keep MY little caveman brain satisfied might require taking a second mortgage on the house. So it didn’t last long. But boy howdy, was that a fun week for me!

  2. The Tapeworm Diet. Yeah, people actually did this, and apparently still do it today, the sillies! You swallowed the tapeworm (ugh), which took up residence in your tum-tum and ate all the food you sent down.
    i-25fb0330dba1c3a503b7245a047d6d58-tapeworms
    Moe and Curly did a routine about it in “Punch Drunk” (1934):

    Turns out tapeworms aren’t really that good for your overall health. Who’da thunk it?
    tapewrom

  1. The Twinkie Diet. This is the one that SOUNDS like it should kill you, sorta like the Cigarette Diet.
    cig

    but it actually DID result in weight loss for a guy named Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University!
    twinkie1

    According to aworkoutroutine, Professor Haub

    …went from eating 2600 calories per day (his estimated maintenance level) to eating about 1800 calories per day instead. He just so happened to get the majority of those 1800 daily calories from the most junky foods you can think of.

    and those junky foods consisted of

    …Twinkies, Little Debbie cakes, Doritos, [hey, wonder if he knew Mrs. Bea Goode?], Oreos, sugary cereals like Corn Pops and other equally crappy foods that are all highly processed, lacking in nutritional value, loaded with sugar and “bad” carbs, high in “bad” fat, contain trans fat, and possess other similar traits that are common among typical “junk food.”

    And he lost

    …27lbs in 2 months and reduced his body fat percentage from 33.4% to 24.9%.

    Why? Simple – because he ate fewer calories than he burned. That’s how you lose weight. That’s how I’m losing weight.

    Now, nutrition counts, too, so no one (including Mark Haub) is recommending this is a regular way of eating.
    twinkie2
    He did it just to prove a point: calories DO count!

  1. The NBC Diet. Now, this one (and #5) are diets my husband and I came up with, in one of those conversations that just gets sillier and sillier till one of you gets tired and wanders into the kitchen for a snack. But hey — it SOUNDS good! And not too much different, in theory, from Mark Haub’s diet. Here it is (drum roll please!):

    The NBC Diet – Nothin’ But Cheese!
    chez
    Mmm, I could do that, couldn’t you?

  1. After You! And of course, there’s the ever-popular “After You” diet, for couples. First one in the house after getting home from work, church, etc. has to cook supper.
    car
    “After you!”
    “No, YOU get out first!
    “No, YOU!”
    “Hello, police? Our neighbors have been sitting in their car for three days!”

That’s your Friday Five! Have a great weekend! I’ll be back bright and early on Monday, struttin’  my Weekly Weigh-in – let’s see if a weekend of “NBC” results in a gain or a loss!

A few Friday quickies!

When I started this blog, I imagined writing long posts, maybe (in my incredible optimism) even one per day.

Well, rather than wait for inspiration to strike, today I’m going to emulate Amy Welborn’s weekly “7 Quick Takes” over at Charlotte was Both, and just do a post with a few short, pithy* observations, comments, and whatnot.

  1. Happy first day of Fall! Yes, the leaves have started turning gorgeous colors (even out here in Southern California); the temperatures have been dropping (57 degrees Fahrenheit this morning, brr!!); and most importantly, the Christmas decorations are showing up at the drugstores. So we know it’s coming, right? The dreaded Holiday Season (aaughh!!) which causes so much angst to so many (and not just us dieters!).

    holiday
    But be of good cheer – one of the advantages of getting older is that time seems to pass a lot more quickly. Before you know it, it’ll be Spring again (aaughh!!).

    swimsuit

  2. In Praise of Fake Foods: Again, I was gonna do a whole blog post on this, and in fact, maybe I will, in the future. But yesterday I had a couple of completely fake slices of “vegan cheese,” and I just have to say, they were actually not too bad. A little oily-tasting (engine, not vegetable), but there was enough of a hint of a taste of actual cheese in it to satisfy my Cheese Lust, for a few minutes, anyway. So yay fake cheese, I guess (but not for too much longer!).
    cheese|
  3. My husband is freaking out, on an almost daily basis, about the fact that our venerable old Weight Watchers digital scale (which, I’d like to point out, HE selected and purchased) is slightly inaccurate. Actually, it’s INCREDIBLY inaccurate. And not in a good way, like the even older analog scale which it replaced, which you could easily readjust (downwards) by sliding the little metal lever at the back just a li-t-t-l-e bit to the right. No, this one goes UP by two or three pounds, within a matter of seconds. I keep telling him to just do the weigh-yourself-every-day-and-only-count-the-average method, and he says he does, but he still freaks out. I sense some new scales in our future.

    scales2

  4. I’m doing pretty well with my exercise promises. This week, I did nice long walks (at least 30 minutes) on Tuesday and Thursday, and plan to do another one tomorrow (Saturday), for my bare minimum of three days a week. Now, I know a lot of fitness gurus out there say we should be doing this kind of thing every day. Well, I don’t know about you, but most of my “keeping commitments” energy is spent on remembering to brush and floss every day. So exercising three days a week isn’t too shabby, if you ask me!

    floss

  5. Right now, I’m cooking a really yummy-smelling lunch: no-egg-yolk pasta, topped with just a sprinkling of cheese (the real, non-crankcase kind!), tuna, frozen veggies, and lots and lots and LOTS of garlic and onion powder. Mmm! (And yeah, I’ll definitely be brushing and flossing afterwards!)

    garlic

OK, that’s it – my Friday Five! Hope your first day of Fall is a scintillating one. (Dare I say it might be a good time to turn over a new leaf? Hee hee!)

(*watch your pronunciation there!)