Ooh, so close!!

Good morning, everyone! Well, we gave it our best shot, and we’re proud of our efforts. Still, it wasn’t the desired result for everyone, was it?

ooh so close

Um no … no, I’m not talking about that little football game you watched yesterday! I’m talking about my weigh-in, silly!

180.2
scales
oh poo

Yeah, I’m not in the Super ’70s yet, but it’s still two pounds down from last week, so I’m happy about it! (Especially since I had me some delicious Popeye’s Chicken not once, but TWICE, last week … mmm! And btw, if you work for Popeye’s, feel free to send me a check for that blatant product plug!)

popeyes

And I’m looking forward to a week with slightly less rain than last week’s deluge —

cat flood

so I can go outdoors for more long walks —

beginners guide

so NEXT week’s weigh-in should FINALLY “touch down” into the region I’m aiming for. “Touch down” — touchdown — get it?

Hmm … OK, yeah, my football metaphors probably need a little work. Maybe if I actually WATCHED a game sometime …

naah

Yeah, you’re right! I’ll just go find a light-hearted football movie to watch and see if I can educate myself.

football

Oh yeah, that should do it! When in doubt, Stooge it out!

See you Friday!

Friday Five: Things you (normally) don’t see from the treadmill!

Happy Friday, everyone, and of course:

betty white

During the past week, we’ve had quite the little deluge here in normally sunny Southern California, so I’ve been forced to ditch the outdoors and spend some quality time in my least unfavorite gym, Anytime Fitness in Chatsworth.

As gyms go, it’s one of the best, but weather permitting, I’d really rather be walking (or running! yes, I’m running now, believe it or not!) OUTDOORS!

Because you know, there are things you see outside that you just don’t usually see from your gym treadmill. For example:

  1. These horses, saying “Howdy!” along a bike path in Chatsworth.
    friday five 1 horses
  2. These bees, living in a manhole alongside a Chatsworth sidewalk.
    friday five 3 bees in a manhole
  3. The wash next to this bike path, sunny one day…
    friday five 2 brown wash sunny
  4. and getting ready to flood the next.
    friday five brown wash rainy
  5. And finally, these papier mache dolls, just hanging out on a street corner in Reseda, which are not AT ALL creepy and will NOT appear in your dreams tonight.
    friday five weird dolls (2)

Of course, it’s entirely possible you might have seen similar strange and interesting things from your treadmill. If you have, let me know and I’ll post your story/photo next week!

retro treadmill
From “Whole Lotta Shakin: The Weird History of Gym Equipment”

Meanwhile, have a wonderful (and hopefully OUTDOORS!) weekend! See you Monday for the weigh-in! (and sweet dreams! heh heh heh…)

Welcome to Bizarro Monday!

Well, happy Monday everyone — and a nice rainy one it is too, here in normally sunny Southern California! Not that we’re complaining, you understand!

rain 1.png

What’s a bit ironic is that Mr. 50by60 is on a business trip in Seattle, where those of us who rely on sitcoms and movies for our information about the Pacific Northwest just assume it’s raining constantly. And yet — this one time he’s there — it’s sunny! That’s right — it’s sunny in Seattle and raining in Los Angeles!!

bizarro1.jpg

Yeah, well, all that fits in quite nicely with today’s weigh-in. Remember how last week I was SURE this was gonna be the week I finally broke through to the ’70s? (the 170s, for those of you just joining us).

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And I was sooo close, guys ‘n gals! For three days this past week I was actually weighing in at 179.2! Then … then came the weekend …

why

Well, it is what it is! So let’s just get right to it, shall we? Hang on a sec …

get on with it

Oh all right!! Today’s weigh-in ISSSSS….

182.2
scalessmash
oh poo

Rats! Oh well, guess the ’70s will just have to wait another week! No problem — I’m just gonna dedicate myself to MORE exercise, MORE diligent countin’ of the calories, MORE attention to the whole rigorous process of weight loss! MORE binge-watching of “Corner Gas” on Amazon Prime!

staycation

Yeah … I’ll definitely do at least ONE of those things! We’ll find out the results next week! Meanwhile, stay dry, L.A.! And as for you, Seattle, I’ll just say “badbye” and leave you to your bizarro winter weather!

bizarro2

 

Friday Five: How to Stop Worrying and Learn to Love the Scales

One of my loyal 50by60 readers (and not coincidentally, one of my favorite cousins!) confided last week that she’s developed a fear of getting back on the scales after the holidays.

scale lucy jpg

Well, Margaret, I’m here to help you — and anyone else who’s nervous about facing The Shocking Truth! (aka your post-holiday weight) — with five ways to make sure your scales give you the numbers you KNOW you deserve!

  1. Before getting on the scales, make SURE you cross yourself, say three Hail Mary’s and apologize to Our Lord for sullying His birthday season with your atrocious overeating!
    prayer
  2. Repeat after me: “it’s water weight! it’s just water weight!” and subtract 10 pounds from whatever the stupid numbers say!
    water
  3. Be sure to stand on the correct part of the scales! Even a millimeter off center can create a margin of error of up to 20 pounds!
    liar
  4. VERY important: did you remove ALL your clothes? And the weight’s still too high? Well, keep stripping down — anything other than what God graced you with at birth has gotta go!
    scales.jpg
  5. And if none of those ideas works for you, here’s a thought —
    dwight
    Yeah, I know — really wacky and rad! But what the heck, it’s worth a shot, right? I mean, seriously, if all else fails, why not try counting your calories every day for a week, and THEN looking at the scales? You just might be surprised!

As I’m hoping *I* will be, come Monday’s weigh-in! Will I finally get back into the (1)70’s? We’ll find out — together!

66fd183725cbbd1bdad0ce31f46e7079b0682ae5d22c03085fee91966861b1ac

Meanwhile, have a great weekend!

At long last, blog post!

Well, Happy New Year, everyone! It’s great to be back here at 50by60.com! So, how was your holiday season? Mine was absolutely delicious…

elf four

which is why I was a little nervous about this, the first weigh-in of 2019! But not to worry – I’m happy (and relieved) to report my weight as of this morning is:

181.2
scales

whoop di doo

Michael Coughlan Graffiti: Woo Hoo! 2016, https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/31095075814

That’s right, I actually managed to get through the biggest eating season of the year (aka the Celebration of the Birth of Our Lord) without gaining weight!!!

elf lies

Oh, OK! Full disclosure — I DID gain a *little* bit, during December. Even though I didn’t report it here, I continued weighing myself every day. And it’s true, at one point I was up to almost 185, which during December became my “go over this and no more cookies” border wall!

politics free

Just a gentle reminder from Spidey

Oh yeah, sorry ’bout that — almost broke my own rule, nyuk nyuk! Anyway, the nice thing about the daily weigh-ins is that they kept me aware of how all those delectable goodies were affecting me — and inspired me to at least *try* to keep things under control.

And I did! And you can, too! Did YOU enjoy a nice, sugar-filled December? Not to worry — it’s January now, and Christmas is over and done.

orthochristmas1

Oh yeah, I forgot! OK, if you’re an Old Calendar 50by60 reader, just take all the advice I’m giving you today and transfer it to 12 days from today!

As for the rest of you, let’s go! I think 2019 is going to be a great year, and I’m looking forward to telling you all the exciting things I’m planning to get and stay in better shape!

drunk old lady.jpg

Happy New Year/Merry Christmas/see ya Friday!!

 

Bonus Post: Wisdom from Two Utes of Today!

utes.jpg

Hey everyone! I’m still officially on vakay, but since my niece Rachel and her pal Ashley are still busily keeping THEIR blog, “Simply Us,” up to date, I thought I’d share with you one of their recent posts, with a whole lot of wisdom in it! Enjoy!

New Year New Me. New Year’s Resolutions and Tips for Sticking To Them

 

Surprise! Just poppin’ in to say Merry Christmas!

Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m on a blogging break and all that.

Still, if former Pres. Obama can pop in to say hi, I guess I can, too!

obama santa.jpg

I’m enjoying my little break, and hope you’re all keeping snug as the proverbial bugs in your rugs, keeping warm, sipping cocoa and enjoying life.

cocoa1.jpg

Listen — we’ll get back to the diet and exercise struggle soon enough. This is a time to relax and enjoy yourself. Go ahead, have some chocolate. We’ll work it off, together, in January.

gym 1.jpg

Merry Christmas to all my loyal readers! See you again on Monday, January 7, 2019 (aka Orthodox Christmas, for my non-Western readers)!

latvian

Last Weigh-In Before the Freeway, and also: Blatant Nepotism!

Good morning, everyone! Let’s all enjoy this final Rhymin’ Weekly Weigh-In before the holidays kick in, shall we?

184.0
scales
mr bill

Grr … up TWO POUNDS since last Monday! What’s really annoying is that just two days ago (Friday, for you math-challenged Old Calendarists), I was actually down to the fabled 170s for a brief, shining moment (179.8, to be exact), but alas, the never-ended water-related fluctuations took over.

Oh well, “water” you gonna do, eh?

eyeroll

Hey, sorry! They can’t all be gems! Anyway, as I mentioned Friday, I’ve decided to give the whole 50by60 blogging staff some much-needed time off — starting after this post all the way through to Old Calendar Orthodox Christmas, Monday, January 7, 2019!

boss.jpg

(‘Cause, um, I work for myself)

I mean, I’ll still do my daily weigh-ins — that’s crucial! I just won’t be posting any of them till that very special Monday. That’s right, beeyatches — I’m on vakay!!

what about bob.jpg

Before I leave, though, I wanted to direct your attention to this WONDERFUL new blog, Simply Us, created by my WONDERFUL niece, Rachel and her equally WONDERFUL pal, Ashley! It’s all about feminism — and makeup. (Hey — they’re NOT mutually exclusive!)

Anyway, so far the blog looks AWESOME, ladies!

rachel rick morty.jpg

And I’m looking forward to chatting with at least one of the authors over our always pleasant, never polemical, Thanksgiving dinner! Here’s a couple of memes to get the conversational ball rolling:

Anyway, HAPPY THANKSGIVING*, Merry New Calendar Christmas, and Happy New Year to all my loyal readers! I may be sneaky and pop in once or twice before Jan. 7, but meantime …

archie.jpg

I’m outta here! (Oh, and:

regular thursday.jpg

Happy Friday (in keeping with the situation)!

Happy Friday, everyone!

scrooge

And yes, I know, it’s not a happy Friday for a lot of people. Fires and angst in some places, snow and angst in others … sickness, misery, sadness …

dogs.jpg

Life is like that sometimes! But y’know, you gotta keep your chin up, face the day, and just keep on keepin’ on …

twirling.jpg

Things will get better, eventually! And during the coming week, we’ll once again, as a nation, get a chance to take out some of our frustrations on a bunch of innocent birds!

turkey.jpg

Of course, there are always a few iconoclasts …

tday.jpg

But for the most part, don’t we all enjoy sitting around the table with our families, enjoying a relaxing, drama-free time of peace and togetherness?

 

Well, whatever you decide to talk about, remember — Thanksgiving is just the beginning!

buble.jpg

So there’ll be lots of other chances to interact with your loved ones, between now and that blessed morning, January 2, when you wake up from your multi-holiday-binge and slowly try to make your way back to Normal Life™ — whatever that may be for you.

 

But first, we gotta get through THIS one! Well, try to be positive, if you can!

smile.jpg

Hey, whatever works for you! See you Monday for my last Post-Holiday Season Weigh-In! And remember … hang in there!

hang in there.jpg

 

The winds are rising, and the stock market is falling (but hey, so is my weight!)

Happy Monday, everyone! Yes, I know — as Mr. 50by60 just pointed out to me, the winds are rising, and the stock market is falling.

winds

However, on a more positive note — my weight’s falling, too!

182.0
scales
woo hoo

So there ya go — a little good news for your otherwise melancholy Monday! Hang in there  — the Holiday Season™ is on its way!!

Oh, and speaking of holidays, today’s Veterans Day in the U.S., so a big THANKS to all you military veterans out there!

stooges.jpg