Find some sanity, where you can!

Yeah, it’s nice to report that my weight went down a tad:

199.8

But with everything that’s going on in the world right now,

I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to put my puny li’l ol’ weight loss efforts at top priority. A bigger priority is just staying sane, when you’re surrounded by complete and total lunacy.

I mean, I don’t want to blame anyone in particular for all this stress and angst.

Still, I can’t help feeling that the best way to deal with it is to either get/stay as far away from it as possible, or, y’know, root out and dispose of the actual CAUSE of the problem.

So for now, I’m just gonna keep going out and walking or running, breathing in the fresh, clean air of Southern California

and doing my best to keep my head above water. And if things get any worse … well …

Welllll … let’s hope it doesn’t come to that! Sorry to sound so down, friends, loyal readers, and/or relatives, but I bet you all know exactly how I feel — and maybe it helps to know you’re not alone!

Let’s hope next week is a little bit brighter, shall we? Meantime, perhaps you’ll enjoy hearing about a time in history that was ALMOST as bad as this one!

See ya next week, I hope!!

Dominion rigged my scales!

Well, howdy, everyone! Here we are in the Future, the fabulous, far-away sounding year of 2021 A.D., and [squints] huh … well, gee whillikers, Batman, I, uh, hate to say this, but it kinda looks not all that different from 2020, so far!

Well, okay, calm down! Let’s just keep all our fingers and toesies crossed that everything gets better toot sweet! Anyway, I have some important business to attend to here, so without further adieux, here ’tis — the first Weekly Weigh-In of 2021!

200.4

What?? OVER that 200-pound line in the sand I set for myself? Is outrage!

How could that possibly happen? I’m a vegan, dammit, a vegan! Everyone knows vegans are SKINNY and cranky, not FAT and cranky!

Yeah, but but but — plant-based! Organic! Buzzwords!

Oh … yeah, okay, well, I guess I have perhaps overindulged in some of the super yummy vegan snacks that are all the rage now with the youngsters.

And yeah, perhaps I have been sitting too long in front of my various devices, staring raptly at the latest installment of Awkward Ashleigh Burton’s Millennial Movie Monday or Twinsthenewtrend!

But that still doesn’t mean I deserve to have my weight go over 200 pounds! No, it’s gotta be someone else’s fault! Therefore, I hereby demand that my bathroom scales — probably manufactured by Dominion — be hauled into every court in the land!

Meanwhile, I plan to huddle with my (imaginary) sycophants in my War Room (She Shed) to contemplate my next power move (counting my calories and getting up off my butt more often). Theoretically, that should boost the odds in favor of me returning to power (aka losing a pound or two) by this time next week!

See ya soon!

Spambots need love, too! (an unofficial non-weigh-in pre-Christmas post!)

Hey everyone! As you know, I’m still on my Official Holiday Blogging/Dieting Break, so no official weigh-in or post till next week.

However, just wanted to take a few minutes to say THANKS to all of you for your moral (if not financial) support over the past year. It’s been a tough one, hasn’t it?

But believe it or not, 2020 is almost over and pretty soon we’ll be looking at it through our rear-view mirrors, muttering, “What the hell was THAT?” as we sip our Vegan Holiday Nogs, generously laced with a giant dollop of our intoxicant of choice.

I for one can’t wait! Still, I personally am not going to rest easy till 01/20/2021, if you know what I mean.

Oops, you’re right! ‘Nuff said, then! Well, till next week, this has been my PENULTIMATE post for 2020! Hope you enjoyed this little pop-in!

Oh, all righty then! Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, and Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice as well!

See ya next week! Oh, and “hi” to all my new followers, who based on their email addresses and the fact that they’re all trying to post spammy comments, are probably spambots. We’re definitely robot-friendly here at 50by60 (although not friendly enough to actually publish your spammy comments), so greetings of the season to y’all too!

Time for a Thanksgiving Blogging Break!!

Good morning, everyone! Since one turkey has been pardoned this week …

and since Thanksgiving 2020 looks to be, well, pretty much the way the rest of 2020 has been around the country …

I, for one, am MORE than ready to take my annual Holiday Diet Break!!

Of course, I may still check in from time to time here, even if I don’t post my weight stats till after January 1st, ’cause you never know what’s next in this crazy year!

Meanwhile, let me just wish all my loyal readers (you, and you, and, um, let’s see, oh yeah, you, I guess) a very happy Thanksgiving — you are hereby REPRIEVED from your dieting duties (temporarily anyway!)!

Oh, and P.S. (’cause I just HAVE to get one last one in!) —

Never, Ever Give Up! (unless you lost, duh)

So last week there was this election, and after all the dust settled and the votes were counted (even the “legal” ones), we have a new Hair Sniffer in Chief!

But in case you hadn’t heard, the currently reigning Infector in Chief has, so far, refused to concede.

And you can’t blame him — I mean, what with all the accusations of voter fraud out there. Sure, pretty much all of them are based on hearsay and unfounded assertions, but there’s gotta be SOMETHING, right?

Well, it’s all a tempest in a teapot, but if there’s one thing I agree with Current Prez about, it’s that there are some battles that are so important you just can’t bring yourself to lose gracefully.

No, you go down fighting! And that’s how it is with me and the Battle of the Bulge! Yes, my weight has been pushing slowly upwards, ever upwards, for months now —

— and sure, today’s weight is a tad up, again —

198.8

— but as we all learned from that fine documentary series, The Office:

And y/know, Michael Scott was right! As long as I can afford to pay for this verkakte blog which, yes, I actually have to pay a yearly stipend for it because SOMEBODY didn’t think to include “free blog sites” in any of their stimulus packages —

— I’ll keep counting the calories and hoping for the best! Meantime, let’s continue to hope that as we edge closer, ever closer, to that Big Giant Holiday Season,

I’ll be able to at least hold the fat at bay, long enough to get to the ever-popular New Year’s Resolution, which in 2021 is probably going to be something like:

Meanwhile, have a great week, and remember, count every calorie!!

(Oh and by the way, a HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY to all youse guys and gals!)

Hang in there … it’s almost over!!

Well, hey, friends and neighborinos! Welcome aboard! Glad to have you around for this, the penultimate Blog Before The Election! And this election especially makes us SO happy to be Americans, doesn’t it? Er … show of hands? Anyone?

Well, I don’t think it’s QUITE that bad, Your Highness! Still happy to have those free elections, not being required to join the Church of England, etc.!

Still, it’s a stressful time for a lot of people, so with that in mind, let’s just get this out of the WEIGH, shall we? (get it? WEIGH?)

Er anyway, without further adieux (hee hee!), it’s

197.2

And boy howdy, it’s nice to see them numbers headin’ downwards for a change, ain’t it? We’ll see if it lasts during the next few nail-biting days!

Meanwhile, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that tomorrow is my hubby’s birthday, so happy birthday, Mr. 50by60! Lookin’ good there!

Oh, and just FYI, this year Mr. 50 and I are on opposite sides of the political spectrum, which sounds bad, but look at it this way — when all the dust settles and we figure out who won, 50% of our household will be celebrating.

So whatever side of the political divide YOU’RE on, rest assured you’ll still be welcome here next week! If you’re happy, great! If you’re not, well …

And remember, we have to go through this again in four years, so ya better start preparing yourself now!

See you next week and remember, no matter WHO wins or loses, count them calories — it’s the only WEIGH!!

What’s up, WordPress? Back for another banger!

Good morning, everyone! For those who are a little puzzled about the title, I’ve been watching a LOT of the adorable “Twinsthenewtrend” videos on YouTube this week, and that’s how they start out every video. Check ’em out! Fair warning, though, start one, and you’ll look up and wonder where that hour and a half went! For example:

Oh yeah! I’m listening while I’m blogging! Anyway, let’s get to the weigh-in, shall we? It’s not too shabby:

197.4

Yeah, back down 0.6 of a pound, and down is always good!

So, in spite of the fact that it’s still 2020, and everything’s still kind of fluid right now …

… not to mention, all the fires and, oh yeah, that pesky virus …

I’m just gonna keep counting my calories, drinking lots of water …

and of course, walking, outdoors if possible, indoors if necessary!

And I still have an active prayer life, in spite of what certain members of the patriarchy (you know who you are!) might think.

So maybe if I just keep doing all the right things, the scale will move, 2020 will (eventually) be over, and things will get better!

Well, maybe not THAT much better! I’m a realist! But we’ll do our best, won’t we? Meantime, keep chuggin’ the water and countin’ the calories, and I’ll see you next week!

Back from the cliff, plus my Potted Plants of Politics theory!

Well, I was all set to tell you a sad story about how it had finally happened — it’d been pretty obvious for a while, like the proverbial roaring freight train. 



No, no, THAT’S not what I was talking about! It’s my weight! I was all set to reveal that I’d gone over the 200-pound cliff and was ready to soldier on and fight the good fight and all that happy crappy stuff. But good news, I don’t have to!

198.6

And congrats, Ms. Harris! You might not have been my first pick, but as I’ve opined recently, you and Crazy Joe are basically the proverbial Potted Plant so many of us are willing to vote for at this point.



Funny thing is, now that I muse on it, Trump was kinda the Potted Plant of 2016, wasn’t he? Lots of Democrats and “undecideds” decided they’d rather have ABC (Anyone But Clinton), and since Trump was definitely Anyone…



he was pretty much the only option for keeping Gropin’ Bill Clinton out of the Oval Office.



But sooner or later, every potted plant starts to go bad (at least, all the ones I’VE ever been responsible for!). So this time, yeah, Biden’s pretty much the designated Potted Plant of 2020.



Which might not be a campaign slogan he’d appreciate, but what the hell, he’s got my vote anyway. As for Kamala, I’ll be honest — I didn’t really care for her till a few months ago, when I heard her interviewed by Will Farrell on “The Ron Burgundy Podcast.”

https://app.stitcher.com/splayer/f/364891/63078906

And as one of my favorite cousins pointed out (hi Laura!*), that means we’ll get a whole lot more Maya Rudolph, yay!

I’ve got a soft spot for people who make me laugh, which is probably why I voted for Trump — let’s be honest, the man used to be an entertainer, after all! And y’know, you get what you pay for in this life.

But now, unfortunately, the laugh’s on US, so I say it’s time for a change — not just in the White House, but in my diet!



Yeah, it’s taking a lot of effort to turn this caboose around, but we’ll do it! Trust me — have I ever lied to you?



Never mind! Anyway, calorie counting works, so I’ll definitely be hoping for another happy loss next week (as well as one in November, nyuk nyuk!)!

(*and hi Margaret, and hi Garold! Don’t worry, you’ll get your moments in the sun at some point!)

It’s fine to say it sucks!!

Good morning, everyone! Well, in spite of the title of this post, I’m happy to say my weigh-in doesn’t suck (at least it’s down a skoche!):

199.4

Whew, back a teensy beensy bit from that over-200-pounds-eek-eek-eek cliff!

I won’t breathe (or eat) easy till I get back under 195, but I hereby vow that I WILL accomplish that goal by the end of this month! Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Still, it really sucks that I can’t just go to my gym and hop on the treadmill for half an hour or so, or lift weights.

And it also sucks that I can’t go to the library and kill an hour reading the newspaper and magazines (like the old fogey I am).

And it REALLY sucks that I can’t spend a pleasant day driving from one favorite used bookstore to another.

What also sucks is that if I dare to say in public that any of these things suck, I run the risk of somebody chiming in, “Yeah! And they shouldn’t be allowed to close all those places! And you shouldn’t have to wear a mask at Costco! It’s all a hoax!”

Then there’s the other possible extreme, which I admit I’ve been guilty of as well — scolding the people who complain by insisting that they acknowledge what a horrific disease coronavirus is and the reasonableness of the shutdowns. “What? You hate wearing a mask? You must be one of those anti-maskers who wants everyone to DIE!”

And here’s the truth: I’m one of those people in the “mushy middle” who I’m betting makes up the majority of people right now. We hate the shutdowns and we hate the face masks, while at the same time we TOTALLY understand and agree with the reasoning behind them!

So why is it that we can’t just express our opinions without being lumped in with the extremist thought police on BOTH sides? And yeah, I know there’s some danger in “bothsidesism.”

I mean, I’m part of the Byzantine Catholic Church, which has been playing both sides of the Catholic-vs.-Orthodox divide for a few years now!

So honestly, I don’t really know what the solution is. Maybe just exercise a little kindness and compassion towards everyone you meet? I know that’s a long shot, but isn’t it kinda sorta what those of us who consider ourselves followers of that Jesus guy in some way, shape, or form are supposed to be doing?

I dunno, I’m not sure I’m articulating this very well. Maybe I should just go have breakfast and think it over. Or maybe you could tell me what you think, in that oh-so-seldom-used “Comments” section right below! Whaddya think?

Meanwhile, have a great week — and remember, even though it definitely sucks, wear the mask!

Eureka, I’ve Got it! The Anti-Karen Solution??

So while I was growling over the weight GAIN this morning,

197.4

I tried to console myself by watching some of the new “Karen” videos that have bombarded my Facebook feed lately. Karen after Karen after Karen (female AND male), screaming in grocery stores, upscale fashion stores, and pretty much everywhere, all about how the Evil Government canNOT make them wear masks, and masks force them to breathe their own icky breath for way too long, and etc. ad nauseum!

And also reading about how in all those places where the Evil Government is NOT making them wear a mask, the equally Evil Virus is returning and the curve, which was sort of flattening — you know, like my weight was sort of dropping, until my gym closed down and life as we know it all kinda came to a screeching halt?



And I suddenly had a GREAT idea! Why not harness the power, energy, and all that pent-up Karen rage, and use it to our advantage?



First of all, if you’re one of the Karens going around yelling “Democratic PIGS!” and screaming that all the Democratic governors are forcing them to wear masks, please leave the blog for a few minutes. Okay? Thanks!



(looks around) are they gone? Great! Here’s the idea — and please feel free to pass this on to your Evil Democratic governator:

Make it ILLEGAL to go out in public WITH a face mask!!

Take a moment to mull it over, and you’ll see the absolute brilliance of this idea!

Karens in every Democratic-governored state will scream in anger:

You can’t take away my mask! You Democratic PIGS!!

and

I’ll give you my face mask when you pry it from my cold, dead FACE!!

MAGA 4EVER!! masks, manufactured by Trump Industries (basically, Karen personified) will proliferate everywhere,  and the economy will come roaring back!

Meanwhile, all of us (you and me, the ones who didn’t leave the room) will know it’s all a ploy to keep us safe from Hurricane Karen!

I’m sure there are some bugs in the idea, but I don’t have time to figure them out. Feel free to give me your thoughts in the comments!

See you next week!