Dominion rigged my scales!

Well, howdy, everyone! Here we are in the Future, the fabulous, far-away sounding year of 2021 A.D., and [squints] huh … well, gee whillikers, Batman, I, uh, hate to say this, but it kinda looks not all that different from 2020, so far!

Well, okay, calm down! Let’s just keep all our fingers and toesies crossed that everything gets better toot sweet! Anyway, I have some important business to attend to here, so without further adieux, here ’tis — the first Weekly Weigh-In of 2021!

200.4

What?? OVER that 200-pound line in the sand I set for myself? Is outrage!

How could that possibly happen? I’m a vegan, dammit, a vegan! Everyone knows vegans are SKINNY and cranky, not FAT and cranky!

Yeah, but but but — plant-based! Organic! Buzzwords!

Oh … yeah, okay, well, I guess I have perhaps overindulged in some of the super yummy vegan snacks that are all the rage now with the youngsters.

And yeah, perhaps I have been sitting too long in front of my various devices, staring raptly at the latest installment of Awkward Ashleigh Burton’s Millennial Movie Monday or Twinsthenewtrend!

But that still doesn’t mean I deserve to have my weight go over 200 pounds! No, it’s gotta be someone else’s fault! Therefore, I hereby demand that my bathroom scales — probably manufactured by Dominion — be hauled into every court in the land!

Meanwhile, I plan to huddle with my (imaginary) sycophants in my War Room (She Shed) to contemplate my next power move (counting my calories and getting up off my butt more often). Theoretically, that should boost the odds in favor of me returning to power (aka losing a pound or two) by this time next week!

See ya soon!

So long, sucky year!

Hey, everyone! Just wanted to get in one last post before this annus horribilus comes to an end. And let’s be honest, 2021 may wind up having a lot of sucky things in it too, but at least it’ll look a little different, in some places!

And in a few short weeks, we’ll have a new President (fingers and toes crossed!), which means I’ll have to come up with a whole new slew of memes!

But most importantly, as far as this blog is concerned, I’ll be starting my Weekly Weigh-Ins again, and we can (hopefully) start sending those numbers downward again!

Well, no, I think those of us who’ve reached this magical thing called “middle age” (and yes, I AM planning to live to be 125, so shut it!) know that at this point, we’re pretty much stuck with the “ME” we’ve been living with most of our lives (except for those magical years when we traveled with the Doctor in the Tardis, but since that’s been wiped from our memory, it doesn’t bother us too much anymore).

New “Doctor Who” on New Year’s Day! (Donna still hasn’t watched any)

So ENJOY your last week of Holiday Diet Break, everyone! We’ll start counting the calories NEXT week, okay? Meanwhile, SEE YA NEXT YEAR!!

We still miss you, Gilda!

Spambots need love, too! (an unofficial non-weigh-in pre-Christmas post!)

Hey everyone! As you know, I’m still on my Official Holiday Blogging/Dieting Break, so no official weigh-in or post till next week.

However, just wanted to take a few minutes to say THANKS to all of you for your moral (if not financial) support over the past year. It’s been a tough one, hasn’t it?

But believe it or not, 2020 is almost over and pretty soon we’ll be looking at it through our rear-view mirrors, muttering, “What the hell was THAT?” as we sip our Vegan Holiday Nogs, generously laced with a giant dollop of our intoxicant of choice.

I for one can’t wait! Still, I personally am not going to rest easy till 01/20/2021, if you know what I mean.

Oops, you’re right! ‘Nuff said, then! Well, till next week, this has been my PENULTIMATE post for 2020! Hope you enjoyed this little pop-in!

Oh, all righty then! Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, and Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice as well!

See ya next week! Oh, and “hi” to all my new followers, who based on their email addresses and the fact that they’re all trying to post spammy comments, are probably spambots. We’re definitely robot-friendly here at 50by60 (although not friendly enough to actually publish your spammy comments), so greetings of the season to y’all too!

Time for a Thanksgiving Blogging Break!!

Good morning, everyone! Since one turkey has been pardoned this week …

and since Thanksgiving 2020 looks to be, well, pretty much the way the rest of 2020 has been around the country …

I, for one, am MORE than ready to take my annual Holiday Diet Break!!

Of course, I may still check in from time to time here, even if I don’t post my weight stats till after January 1st, ’cause you never know what’s next in this crazy year!

Meanwhile, let me just wish all my loyal readers (you, and you, and, um, let’s see, oh yeah, you, I guess) a very happy Thanksgiving — you are hereby REPRIEVED from your dieting duties (temporarily anyway!)!

Oh, and P.S. (’cause I just HAVE to get one last one in!) —

So what are you doing for Hallowe’en this year?

Well, the weight isn’t changing much — up a little, down a little, up a little — basically holding steady at:

197.8

No complaints from me, though, as long as it stays under the dreaded 200!

Which brings me to a not entirely unrelated question — what are YOU doing for/about Hallowe’en? Every year before this, Mr. 50by60 and I have miscalculated, either buying too much candy and getting NO trick or treaters, or not buying any and getting inundated. This year being 2020, of course, we really don’t know what to expect, although we’re looking online for ideas.

Now, I know there are some parents who are still thinking of letting their kids go out for candy, even though it’s officially being discouraged. And as that neighbor who usually overbuys, I kinda want to encourage them, so I’ll have that legitimate, socially sanctioned excuse to buy three giant bags of tiny Three Musketeers bars!

On the other hand, as a respected weight loss blogger (and never mind that I haven’t lost more than a pound or two since the pandemic started!), I should be setting an example, right? I should be “that neighbor” who only gives out healthy stuff, like toothbrushes and Bible tracts!

Well, yeah, but eggs are good for you! Bring ’em on, I say

So anyway, getting back to my original question, in as circuitous and Byzantine a fashion as possible…

… what are YOU planning to do for Hallowe’en? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading, and hope you have a wonderful week (even though … yes … it is STILL 2020)!

Who cares if it’s still 2020? It’s PUMPKIN SPICE TIME, y’all!

Sorry to it’s report it’s still (checks watch) 2020, but in spite of the fact that yeah, it’s STILL 2020 (c’mon, Father Time, what ARE you thinking??), that doesn’t negate the fact that everyone’s favorite time of year is here, and that time, of course, is PUMPKIN SPICE TIME YAYYY!!

Sure, it’s still over 100 degrees, and sure, it’s, um, still 2020 … but ya know, everything seems just a little bit brighter when that unmistakable odor drifts through your face mask and into your nostrils, doesn’t it?

And even though I’m (yay!) down a whole pound this week —

197.4

I’m pretty sure it’ll fluctuate right back up a little in the next week or so, because y’know …

So you know what? The H-E-DOUBLE-TOOTHPICKS with 2020, my friends! Break out the pumpkin spice, sprinkle a whole bunch of cinnamon around the house, and rev up your engines, ’cause yeah … it may still be 2020 …

but all those yummy, gorgeous, tasty, stinky

holidays are right around the corner! And this year ESPECIALLY, we really need ’em, don’t we? So give yourself permission to relax a little bit over the next few weeks. Sure, we’ll probably wind up gaining even more poundage than we already have in this, the Year of Our Lord 20–

— 20, but so be it! Plenty of time to lose it NEXT year, right? I mean, assuming there IS a next year, and we’re not just stuck in some horrible time loop where, on December 31, 2020, the clock strikes midnight and then rolls right back around to January 1, 2020. That’s not what’s happening, is it? IS IT??

Well … probably not! But y’know, I don’t know about you, but until that wonderful moment, I’m not gonna take anything for granted. And I AM going to have that Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks, even if it IS 12,000 calories!

Okay, okay … it’s not THAT bad, right? Anyway, I lost a pound this week, and pumpkin spice is all around us, so ENJOY! and I’ll see you next week!

Happy 2020! It’s Resolutions Time!

Hey, everyone, happy 2020! Are you stoked for making New Year’s resolutions? Well, good! My first resolution:

1. Use more “woman yelling at cat” memes — they’re comedy gold!

woman cat new year

2. Learn how to do origami!

origami bird

3. Learn to make paper flowers!

paper flower

4. Make all the paper beads I cut out from Trader Joe’s Mini Ice Cream Cones boxes last year and never got around to finishing, as well as all the other crafts I’ve started and abandoned at various points.

5. Make sure any and all resolutions I make this year are completely, 100% negative-consequence-free!

6. And finally, if there’s time and I feel up to it, keep writing all these fun blog posts that are kinda sorta peripherally related to my continuing efforts to maintain my more-or-less 50-pound weight loss!

Yeah, well, I’ve had a lotta “enhanced” eggnog tonight, so sue me!

So on that note, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my loyal readers! Join me NEXT Wednesday for the first weigh-in of 2020!!