Find some sanity, where you can!

Yeah, it’s nice to report that my weight went down a tad:

199.8

But with everything that’s going on in the world right now,

I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to put my puny li’l ol’ weight loss efforts at top priority. A bigger priority is just staying sane, when you’re surrounded by complete and total lunacy.

I mean, I don’t want to blame anyone in particular for all this stress and angst.

Still, I can’t help feeling that the best way to deal with it is to either get/stay as far away from it as possible, or, y’know, root out and dispose of the actual CAUSE of the problem.

So for now, I’m just gonna keep going out and walking or running, breathing in the fresh, clean air of Southern California

and doing my best to keep my head above water. And if things get any worse … well …

Welllll … let’s hope it doesn’t come to that! Sorry to sound so down, friends, loyal readers, and/or relatives, but I bet you all know exactly how I feel — and maybe it helps to know you’re not alone!

Let’s hope next week is a little bit brighter, shall we? Meantime, perhaps you’ll enjoy hearing about a time in history that was ALMOST as bad as this one!

See ya next week, I hope!!

Dominion rigged my scales!

Well, howdy, everyone! Here we are in the Future, the fabulous, far-away sounding year of 2021 A.D., and [squints] huh … well, gee whillikers, Batman, I, uh, hate to say this, but it kinda looks not all that different from 2020, so far!

Well, okay, calm down! Let’s just keep all our fingers and toesies crossed that everything gets better toot sweet! Anyway, I have some important business to attend to here, so without further adieux, here ’tis — the first Weekly Weigh-In of 2021!

200.4

What?? OVER that 200-pound line in the sand I set for myself? Is outrage!

How could that possibly happen? I’m a vegan, dammit, a vegan! Everyone knows vegans are SKINNY and cranky, not FAT and cranky!

Yeah, but but but — plant-based! Organic! Buzzwords!

Oh … yeah, okay, well, I guess I have perhaps overindulged in some of the super yummy vegan snacks that are all the rage now with the youngsters.

And yeah, perhaps I have been sitting too long in front of my various devices, staring raptly at the latest installment of Awkward Ashleigh Burton’s Millennial Movie Monday or Twinsthenewtrend!

But that still doesn’t mean I deserve to have my weight go over 200 pounds! No, it’s gotta be someone else’s fault! Therefore, I hereby demand that my bathroom scales — probably manufactured by Dominion — be hauled into every court in the land!

Meanwhile, I plan to huddle with my (imaginary) sycophants in my War Room (She Shed) to contemplate my next power move (counting my calories and getting up off my butt more often). Theoretically, that should boost the odds in favor of me returning to power (aka losing a pound or two) by this time next week!

See ya soon!

So long, sucky year!

Hey, everyone! Just wanted to get in one last post before this annus horribilus comes to an end. And let’s be honest, 2021 may wind up having a lot of sucky things in it too, but at least it’ll look a little different, in some places!

And in a few short weeks, we’ll have a new President (fingers and toes crossed!), which means I’ll have to come up with a whole new slew of memes!

But most importantly, as far as this blog is concerned, I’ll be starting my Weekly Weigh-Ins again, and we can (hopefully) start sending those numbers downward again!

Well, no, I think those of us who’ve reached this magical thing called “middle age” (and yes, I AM planning to live to be 125, so shut it!) know that at this point, we’re pretty much stuck with the “ME” we’ve been living with most of our lives (except for those magical years when we traveled with the Doctor in the Tardis, but since that’s been wiped from our memory, it doesn’t bother us too much anymore).

New “Doctor Who” on New Year’s Day! (Donna still hasn’t watched any)

So ENJOY your last week of Holiday Diet Break, everyone! We’ll start counting the calories NEXT week, okay? Meanwhile, SEE YA NEXT YEAR!!

We still miss you, Gilda!

Time for a Thanksgiving Blogging Break!!

Good morning, everyone! Since one turkey has been pardoned this week …

and since Thanksgiving 2020 looks to be, well, pretty much the way the rest of 2020 has been around the country …

I, for one, am MORE than ready to take my annual Holiday Diet Break!!

Of course, I may still check in from time to time here, even if I don’t post my weight stats till after January 1st, ’cause you never know what’s next in this crazy year!

Meanwhile, let me just wish all my loyal readers (you, and you, and, um, let’s see, oh yeah, you, I guess) a very happy Thanksgiving — you are hereby REPRIEVED from your dieting duties (temporarily anyway!)!

Oh, and P.S. (’cause I just HAVE to get one last one in!) —

The easiest Overnight Oats recipe you’ll ever find!

Hey, everyone! Without further adieux, I’m thrilled to report that the needle has finally moved! Drum roll please — today’s weigh-in:

196.0

Now that’s pretty cool, right? Three whoppin’ pounds down since last week’s near-200 squeaker!

Yes, in addition to (and perhaps even related to) my weight loss, I’ve also made a major life decision!


Well duh, but you already figured that out, right? No, the other big life decision is, I’m a vegan (again!)!

And this makes — let’s see — oh geez, at least the third time I’ve tried it during my lifetime. Back in the ’80s I lived for a while under the influence of some hipsters (well, they seemed hip at the time) who were granola-munching vegetarians.

But once I moved out and got my own place, I went right back to the hard stuff!

Then in the early part of the century (the current one!), shortly after my marriage to the longsuffering Mr. 50by60, I tried it again. On the one hand, it helped that, as a pierogi-munching Byzantine Catholic, he knew some good vegan recipes, since Eastern Catholics, as well as their estranged cousins, the Orthodox, go semi-vegan twice a year.

But it was really hard to find good meat and cheese substitutes back then, in the Dark Ages, P.D. (Pre-Daiya)! And after a long, arduous Amtrak train trip when Mr. 50’s menu featured luscious, well-cooked pasta with cheese, chicken, salmon, etc. and my vegan option was basically “yellow fake meat patty with rice” meal after meal after meal … I broke!

Yeah, I went back to the yummy dead animal carcasses and excretions! But long blog post even longer, two weeks ago I read Jonathan Safran Foer‘s new book, Eating Animals, and by the time I finished, I was done — and I done gone vegan again!

Well, not quite — there’s still that Overnight Oats recipe I promised in the title! See, I love oatmeal, but as we all know, as good as it is for you, it also has loads of calories! I decided to try this Overnight Oats thing I kept hearing about, but every recipe I found seemed to have a long list of ingredients, which always irritates me. Just give me the basic concept, and let me figure it out from there!

And the fact is, making oatmeal overnight is easy peasy lemon squeezy — although I don’t recommend adding lemon!

No, the basic and EASIEST O.O. recipe is the concept behind it! Basically, you just take one serving of oatmeal — say 1/4th of a cup — and put it into some kind of container, with a lid. THEN you add water — when I made it the other day, I put 3/4s of a cup. And THEN — you put the lid on the container, stick it in the fridge, and sleep the sleep of the just!

When you wake up in the morning and go check your container, you’ll be thrilled to find that science has, once again, proved correct, and that OATS plus WATER plus TIME equals an EXPANDED container of oatmeal which should last you for a few days!

Now, as Mr. 50by60 pointed out, it’ll be cold from being in the fridge, but you can easily just dollop out the amount you plan to eat and heat it up in the microwave or on the stovetop. That’s also a great time to add in your plant butter, sugar, etc. (Remember, though, even though sugar is “plant-based,” that doesn’t mean it’s suddenly become your best friend! Use it with caution!)

So there ya go (pant pant), a super long blog post with a somewhat anticlimactic sort-of recipe at the end, but y’know, you’re not paying for this so go complain elsewhere, ‘kay?

Ooh, sorry ’bout that! Well, that’s what happens when I don’t have my cofveve before blogging! I’ll do better next week, promise! Meantime, have a FANTABULOUS week, and remember — 2020’s almost OVER!!

Never, Ever Give Up! (unless you lost, duh)

So last week there was this election, and after all the dust settled and the votes were counted (even the “legal” ones), we have a new Hair Sniffer in Chief!

But in case you hadn’t heard, the currently reigning Infector in Chief has, so far, refused to concede.

And you can’t blame him — I mean, what with all the accusations of voter fraud out there. Sure, pretty much all of them are based on hearsay and unfounded assertions, but there’s gotta be SOMETHING, right?

Well, it’s all a tempest in a teapot, but if there’s one thing I agree with Current Prez about, it’s that there are some battles that are so important you just can’t bring yourself to lose gracefully.

No, you go down fighting! And that’s how it is with me and the Battle of the Bulge! Yes, my weight has been pushing slowly upwards, ever upwards, for months now —

— and sure, today’s weight is a tad up, again —

198.8

— but as we all learned from that fine documentary series, The Office:

And y/know, Michael Scott was right! As long as I can afford to pay for this verkakte blog which, yes, I actually have to pay a yearly stipend for it because SOMEBODY didn’t think to include “free blog sites” in any of their stimulus packages —

— I’ll keep counting the calories and hoping for the best! Meantime, let’s continue to hope that as we edge closer, ever closer, to that Big Giant Holiday Season,

I’ll be able to at least hold the fat at bay, long enough to get to the ever-popular New Year’s Resolution, which in 2021 is probably going to be something like:

Meanwhile, have a great week, and remember, count every calorie!!

(Oh and by the way, a HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY to all youse guys and gals!)

Now the news you’ve REALLY been waiting for — did I lose any weight this week??

Hey, I know we’re all excited about the presidential election,

but if you can just keep your nail-biting to a minimum for a few minutes, let me give you the REALLY important news of the day:

198.2

Well, down a pound … not quite what I was hoping for, but better than I expected, especially given that last week was, as you know, All Hallows Eve, which, of course, means lots of yummy, healthy CHOCOLATE!!

So between that and all the comfort food that at least 50% of the people in our household (hang on, let me count — one, two — yeah, that’s about right) will be indulging in over the results of that election, I’d say that’s not too shabby!

Oh, and also, Mr. 50by60 and I finally got to the series finale of Desperate Housewives last night.

Which not only meant saying farewell to what was a fun but, let’s face it, kind of a dippy series …

… but also a very real farewell to Kathryn Joosten, the actress who played my favorite character, Karen McCluskey.

So between that and … well … whatever THIS is …

I’m just happy my weight didn’t zoom right back up to 262!!

No worries — now that the weather’s cooling off,

I’ve been able to do more walks and even (gasp) a little running!

So hopefully that’ll begin to result in …

Yeah, well, of course, but also, perhaps …

… a bit of a loss next week? Anyway, I’ll keep my fingers crossed and let you know! Meanwhile, don’t let it get to you.

It’s gonna be okay — we’ll get through this, no matter what!

*oh, and fun fact which I’m REALLY annoyed I didn’t realize till after we watched the entire series — “Karen’s” late-in-life love, “Roy,” was played by Orson Bean, who was, among other things the father-in-law of Andrew Breitbart! How did I miss that? Anyway, RIP to both of ’em!

Hang in there … it’s almost over!!

Well, hey, friends and neighborinos! Welcome aboard! Glad to have you around for this, the penultimate Blog Before The Election! And this election especially makes us SO happy to be Americans, doesn’t it? Er … show of hands? Anyone?

Well, I don’t think it’s QUITE that bad, Your Highness! Still happy to have those free elections, not being required to join the Church of England, etc.!

Still, it’s a stressful time for a lot of people, so with that in mind, let’s just get this out of the WEIGH, shall we? (get it? WEIGH?)

Er anyway, without further adieux (hee hee!), it’s

197.2

And boy howdy, it’s nice to see them numbers headin’ downwards for a change, ain’t it? We’ll see if it lasts during the next few nail-biting days!

Meanwhile, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that tomorrow is my hubby’s birthday, so happy birthday, Mr. 50by60! Lookin’ good there!

Oh, and just FYI, this year Mr. 50 and I are on opposite sides of the political spectrum, which sounds bad, but look at it this way — when all the dust settles and we figure out who won, 50% of our household will be celebrating.

So whatever side of the political divide YOU’RE on, rest assured you’ll still be welcome here next week! If you’re happy, great! If you’re not, well …

And remember, we have to go through this again in four years, so ya better start preparing yourself now!

See you next week and remember, no matter WHO wins or loses, count them calories — it’s the only WEIGH!!

So what are you doing for Hallowe’en this year?

Well, the weight isn’t changing much — up a little, down a little, up a little — basically holding steady at:

197.8

No complaints from me, though, as long as it stays under the dreaded 200!

Which brings me to a not entirely unrelated question — what are YOU doing for/about Hallowe’en? Every year before this, Mr. 50by60 and I have miscalculated, either buying too much candy and getting NO trick or treaters, or not buying any and getting inundated. This year being 2020, of course, we really don’t know what to expect, although we’re looking online for ideas.

Now, I know there are some parents who are still thinking of letting their kids go out for candy, even though it’s officially being discouraged. And as that neighbor who usually overbuys, I kinda want to encourage them, so I’ll have that legitimate, socially sanctioned excuse to buy three giant bags of tiny Three Musketeers bars!

On the other hand, as a respected weight loss blogger (and never mind that I haven’t lost more than a pound or two since the pandemic started!), I should be setting an example, right? I should be “that neighbor” who only gives out healthy stuff, like toothbrushes and Bible tracts!

Well, yeah, but eggs are good for you! Bring ’em on, I say

So anyway, getting back to my original question, in as circuitous and Byzantine a fashion as possible…

… what are YOU planning to do for Hallowe’en? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading, and hope you have a wonderful week (even though … yes … it is STILL 2020)!

Who cares if it’s still 2020? It’s PUMPKIN SPICE TIME, y’all!

Sorry to it’s report it’s still (checks watch) 2020, but in spite of the fact that yeah, it’s STILL 2020 (c’mon, Father Time, what ARE you thinking??), that doesn’t negate the fact that everyone’s favorite time of year is here, and that time, of course, is PUMPKIN SPICE TIME YAYYY!!

Sure, it’s still over 100 degrees, and sure, it’s, um, still 2020 … but ya know, everything seems just a little bit brighter when that unmistakable odor drifts through your face mask and into your nostrils, doesn’t it?

And even though I’m (yay!) down a whole pound this week —

197.4

I’m pretty sure it’ll fluctuate right back up a little in the next week or so, because y’know …

So you know what? The H-E-DOUBLE-TOOTHPICKS with 2020, my friends! Break out the pumpkin spice, sprinkle a whole bunch of cinnamon around the house, and rev up your engines, ’cause yeah … it may still be 2020 …

but all those yummy, gorgeous, tasty, stinky

holidays are right around the corner! And this year ESPECIALLY, we really need ’em, don’t we? So give yourself permission to relax a little bit over the next few weeks. Sure, we’ll probably wind up gaining even more poundage than we already have in this, the Year of Our Lord 20–

— 20, but so be it! Plenty of time to lose it NEXT year, right? I mean, assuming there IS a next year, and we’re not just stuck in some horrible time loop where, on December 31, 2020, the clock strikes midnight and then rolls right back around to January 1, 2020. That’s not what’s happening, is it? IS IT??

Well … probably not! But y’know, I don’t know about you, but until that wonderful moment, I’m not gonna take anything for granted. And I AM going to have that Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks, even if it IS 12,000 calories!

Okay, okay … it’s not THAT bad, right? Anyway, I lost a pound this week, and pumpkin spice is all around us, so ENJOY! and I’ll see you next week!