Just a flesh wound!

Yeah, it’s a teensy little gain:

198.0

But it could have been worse! Last week, in case you didn’t notice, I took the week off and did one of my legendary “road trips” to beautiful Phoenix, Arizona, where it only got up to about 122 degrees Fahrenheit at, um, 9:00 AM. So not too bad, for September.

And I spent a little quality time visiting relatives (at a relatively safe social distance, masks on) …

… as well as vegging in my luxurious hotel room watching “30 Rock” …

… and feeling guiltily glad that the fitness center was closed due to the pandemic. I mean, I never actually USED it, but it was always there, in case I felt the urge.

Heh … yeah, that meme is funny! But you know what? An outdoor gym might not be a bad idea! Although you might want to wait for all the fires to go out before hopping onto Nature’s Treadmill.

Yeah, that’s a shame. It’s really making the air quality suckalicious, too. So maybe it’s a good idea to stay inside, for multiple reasons — perhaps for the rest of the year!

Anyway, stay safe, do the best you can re: diet and exercise, and we’ll meet right back here next week!

Whoa baby — I’ve actually got a loss!

Well, happy Wednesday, fiends and nabobs! How’s everyone doing this oh-so-fine morning?

Well, good to hear, Mr. Lumberjack! I’m doing pretty okay myself, given that I have a nice big weight LOSS to report this week!

Aw come on, David, this is a good thing, trust me! Anyway, ready for the weight loss?

Yes sir (or ma’am — as I’m sure You know, I’m exploring the Divine Feminine right now, so I’d hate to misgender you before I get to my…

Okay, okay! Ready? Here it is!

197.6

Yes, down a whopping ONE POINT FOUR POUNDERINOS since last week!

And I owe it all to calorie counting a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶x̶e̶r̶c̶i̶s̶e̶.  Yeah, obviously NOT exercise because (a) my gyms are closed and (b) it’s a little hot outside!

So it’s been all down to calorie counting ONLY. But guess what — that actually still works!

Yeah, well, we’re not all as highly educated as you, Napoleon, so suck it up, buttercup! Anyway, I’m happy about it, especially since I’m going on a road trip next week, so I’ll need a good running start (metaphorically speaking) to deal with all the fast food temptations I’ll be encountering along the way!

I won’t be able to do a weigh-in, but I’ll at least do *some* kind of post next Wednesday, just to let you know how it’s going (and to keep me honest)!

Hey, it’s worth a shot! So one way or another, I’ll see you next week!

Ooh, so close (but not in a good way) plus a “geezer” joke!

Happy Wednesday, everyone! First, the bad news — let’s get this over with QUICK, shall we?

199.8

Eek! That’s wayyy too close to the dreaded 200 for comfort! Still, I’m not going to let it get me down because:

  1. All my clothes still fit,
  2. I can still go out on walks and hikes without any problem, and
  3. It’s just a number! And having worked for an accounting firm (two, actually!), I know that numbers can definitely be tweaked!

So there you go, it’s close, but there’s still a little wiggle room!

Anyway, let me just lighten the mood with what I swear is a TRUE STORY.

No, it really is! Yesterday I was hanging up some clothes on my clothesline (something I actually enjoy, since I don’t HAVE to do it!), when suddenly a very persistent bee started crawling around on one of the damp washclothes I had just hung up. And, swear to God/dess, I heard myself saying:

So I guess that makes me a — beezer?

Heh — okay, that’s it! Enjoy your week, and let’s see if we can tweak those numbers by next week, shall we?

Never thought I’d say this!

Well, after yet ANOTHER week of NOT doing the kind of exercises that I used to do, and weighing in at — let’s see here:

198.6

… I’m realizing that, in spite of all the times I’ve grumped and complained and basically Karen’d about various problems at lo, the many gyms I’ve belonged to over the years … I [leans closer; whispers] kinda MISS ’em!

Yeah, it’s true! Maybe just the act of going to a gym, changing clothes and going into an area full of exercise machines makes you … I dunno … more likely to exercise?

I mean, I do love the walking and the hiking and even the occasional (if I can describe what I do as) running, but let’s face it — sometimes, when the temperature rises to a brisk 110 degrees, here in the beautiful San Fernando Valley, a gal needs her air-conditioned, video-screened treadmill!

Can’t be helped, though — as you may recall, I quit not one but TWO gyms during the past year — Anytime Fitness and the YMCA — opting to stick with my beloved 24 Hour Fitness in Simi Valley. Which — guess what? is now closed!!

The one with the pool??

No, not the one with the pool! That one’s still open, but the pool and the hot tub — the ONLY reasons I ever went to that one — are definitely NOT available for use for the foreseeable future. No, it’s the other one — the smaller one, with the equipment that I actually USED from time to time!

Well, coffee won’t open the gym, but it won’t hurt! So sure, pour me another cup of covfefe, and let’s can close this week’s post with everyone’s favorite artiste, Weird Al, singing a truck drivin’ song. See you next week!

Back From the Brink!

Good morning, everyone! Sorry to be a little late. I’m been mixing my Trader Joe’s Breakfast Blend (coarse grind) with some pre-Covid era decaf, in order to save on trips to the store, so I’m having a little trouble getting completely awake and alert!

Hopefully that’ll be remedied soon (hint hint), but meantime, I’m thrilled to be able to report that, after coming justthisclose to my personal Danger Zone (200 pounds!),

I FINALLY started doing what I’m always telling YOU guys to do — writing down my calories every day and resuming a semi-regular exercise program (basically, long walks in the wilderness of Simi Valley, three times a week), I’ve got a decent loss to report! Ready? Here’s the number:

197.0


Yeah, that’s more like it!



Now, since I’m down to half-caf, I’ll just go have TWICE as much covfefe and maybe that’ll make me a little more alert!

See ya next week!

My well of catchy blog titles is empty right now, sorry!

Yeah, it’s Wednesday and it’s Weigh-In Time, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a catchy title today! Just can’t seem to get those … things … you know, in my head … working …

critical

Yeah, well, guess I’m not the only one, huh? Anyhoo, let’s do the weight first because it’s actually pretty good!

196.2
woo hoo

Yeah, down a bit! I was getting a little worried there. But you know, that’s a good argument for weighing yourself every day — you can see it creeping back up and decide what, if anything, you want to do about it.

chidi paralyzed

Yeah, well, unlike Chidi, I don’t have as much trouble with that! Still, I do know that when I get > 5 pounds away from THE BIG 2-0-0, that’s my cue to restart the diet!!

sherlock

And I’m doing my best to go out for long walks 3 days a week. It seems to be helping — and you know, even if it didn’t affect the weight, I’d still do it, just for that feeling of freedom and being one with Nature and all that jazz.

think flowers dog

Of course, I can’t go to all the popular trails I used to enjoy, because, y’know, people are idiots.

human nature

But as long as I stay off the beaten path, I’m fine! And off the beaten path is where the prettiest flowers are, sometimes!

IMG_20200516_111348273

And NO I’m not telling you where I took that picture — stay away from my trails, dagnabit!!

make like a tree

Did you know Biff Tannen from “Back to the Future” was based on Trump??

Oh, and speaking of bullies in popular movies and TV, let us all bow our heads in remembrance of the GREAT Ken Osmond, aka everyone’s favorite wise guy, Eddie Haskell!

eddie haskell athletics

He was one of the greats! So on that slightly melancholy note, I’ll bid you farewell, and let’s keep our fingers crossed we don’t lose any more childhood favorites between now and next Wednesday!

Wednesday Wildflower Walk Weigh-In!

Good morning, peeps! Great to see you! How are you holding up? Feel free to rant in the comments!

First things first: the weigh-in!

197.4

Down a pound, which is nothing to sneeze at! And speaking of sneezing …

yours truly saw some lovely wildflowers on a hiking trail in an undisclosed location in the beautiful San Fernando Valley area yesterday! Here’s a few photos for your enjoyment:

Oh, and just FYI, the REASON I’m not disclosing the location is I don’t want all you nitwits to go out there tomorrow and ruin it for me!

Find a nice place to walk in your OWN neighborhood that only you and your neighborinos know about. If you can’t find one, well, there’s always the ol’ Staycation, right in your own back yard (if you’re lucky enough to have one)!

And remember, both Aunt Chrissy (a left-wing loony) and Mr. 50by60 (a right-wing NON-covidiot) say, wear your masks, please!

At least when there are other people around! If you’re alone, it’s probably OK to take it off — maybe!

In which case, you’re on your own!! See ya next week!

Insert Humorous Blog Post Title Here (or, “What? It’s Wednesday Already?”)

Yeah, I wasn’t really prepared for this, after sustaining a minor but very annoying injury on an otherwise enjoyable hike this past Monday when, in my best Peter Griffin imitation, I slipped and whacked my kneecap on a very hard, irritatingly unyielding rock!

peter griffin knee

Contrary to all the concerned Facebook comments I got when I posted about it later, I wasn’t so much worried about “omg, I’m all alone, who will help me?” as I was, “omg, I hope I don’t have to get one of those mountain bikers or large, noisy families to help me!” See, it was MLK Day, and on federal holidays, the parks don’t charge the usual entrance fees.

horde

So it wasn’t like I was stranded out in the wilderness with only a few Fedex boxes to keep me alive till I could get off the island.

castaway 2

No, I channeled my inner Grumpy Cat and hobbled my way around the rest of the trail,

grumpy cat

enjoying the scenery and making extravagant promises to my knee involving hot bubble baths, ice packs, etc. if it would just hold out till I got back to the parking lot. And it did! I checked the mileage later and found that my fall had happened at mile 1.5, after which I walked another 3.5 miles!

huell2

That’s right, Huell! Which is why it’s REALLY annoying to have to tell you that, after all that — after the long hike, the knee whack, and STILL sticking to my calorie counting the next day — my weight is STILL up!

195.8
scales sorry charlie
gday mate

Which makes me think that maybe I should be focusing less on the weight and more on the fact that I’m a bada$$ old hiker lady! I mean, maybe the reason my knee WASN’T injured as badly as it might have been is that layer of fat protecting it!

plausible

So maybe I won’t worry too much about the weight, and instead, look into the possibility of getting some of those cool folding hiking poles, which might actually have been useful around mile 1.5!

hiking poles

And meanwhile, I’ll just keep countin’ the calories and walking, when I can!

twirling

See ya next week!

 

 

Hiking for Fun and (sometimes) Weight Loss!

First, let’s get this out of the “weigh” (get it?):

don't get it

Oh, it’s funny, all right! All humor at 50by60.com is guaranteed to make you laugh, or you get a full refund on your admission price!

seriously.jpg

OK, okay*! Here ya go, my Offishul Way-In for the Weak:

195.4
scales
core bore

There ya go, down a little from last week — not too shabby! And I’ve been doing some actual hiking during the past week, too, which I think has helped with the weight loss (though not so much with the knees!), assuming I can avoid eating back all the calories I burned. And of course, you know the old saying about “assuming”!

assume

So, on that note, let me post with a photo I took yesterday at a place I have hiked to twice, Lasky Mesa, in the Upper Las Virgenes Open Space (“in or near Los Angeles,” as Grampa Google puts it), because I have searched high and low on the Interwebs and NO ONE has posted a photo of this neat and weird-looking little pool of water:

lasky mesa

Weird pool of water surrounded by sand/rock dunes, Lasky Mesa, Upper Las Virgenes Open Space, photo by Christine Lehman

Yes, you, faithful reader, are seeing something that most people don’t know exists! That’s what hiking does for you! (Well, that and making your knees hurt, but ya know, it’s always something!)

it's always something roseanne.jpg

See ya next time for more Adventures In Hiking!

*It’s been a while since I’ve mentioned it, but I do freelance transcription, which means I have to remember that one company’s Style Guide says to use “OK” and the other company says to use “Okay” and god/dess help you if you get confused. Get it? Got it? Good!

Sigh…okay, back to the grind, then!

gasp.jpg

Yeah, the bad news is:

189.0
30 rock no.jpg

Yikes! Well, that’s what happens when you (a) don’t count your calories and (b) spend a whole lotta time with your feet up on your comfy recliner binge-watching “30 Rock” during the “dog days” of summer!

30 rock kenneth dog.jpg

The good news is, it’s a wake-up call to get back to the basics:

1. Count my calories,

30 rock not much cheese.jpg

2. Eat right,

whole grain.jpg

and of course,

3. Exercise!

muffin top 4.jpg

No excuses! And I’m gonna get started…right AFTER my planned vacation, which starts, er, today! and hey, it’s in Phoenix, Arizona, so maybe the pounds will MELT off!

30 rock r and r.jpg

So I’ll try to spend the next week eating sensibly, yada yada yada, and we’ll see what happens.

yada yada.jpg

(my NEXT binge watch??)

Have a great week!