Whoa baby — I’ve actually got a loss!

Well, happy Wednesday, fiends and nabobs! How’s everyone doing this oh-so-fine morning?

Well, good to hear, Mr. Lumberjack! I’m doing pretty okay myself, given that I have a nice big weight LOSS to report this week!

Aw come on, David, this is a good thing, trust me! Anyway, ready for the weight loss?

Yes sir (or ma’am — as I’m sure You know, I’m exploring the Divine Feminine right now, so I’d hate to misgender you before I get to my…

Okay, okay! Ready? Here it is!

197.6

Yes, down a whopping ONE POINT FOUR POUNDERINOS since last week!

And I owe it all to calorie counting a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶x̶e̶r̶c̶i̶s̶e̶.  Yeah, obviously NOT exercise because (a) my gyms are closed and (b) it’s a little hot outside!

So it’s been all down to calorie counting ONLY. But guess what — that actually still works!

Yeah, well, we’re not all as highly educated as you, Napoleon, so suck it up, buttercup! Anyway, I’m happy about it, especially since I’m going on a road trip next week, so I’ll need a good running start (metaphorically speaking) to deal with all the fast food temptations I’ll be encountering along the way!

I won’t be able to do a weigh-in, but I’ll at least do *some* kind of post next Wednesday, just to let you know how it’s going (and to keep me honest)!

Hey, it’s worth a shot! So one way or another, I’ll see you next week!

Grab your face masks — we’re goin’ in!

Testing …

testing smart guy

testing …

testing 123 viking

testing …

testing 123 office space

and WE’RE BACK!!

yay grumpy cat

Yes, that’s right, ladies and gents, welcome back to your favorite weight-loss blog of all time!! And I know you’ve all been on tenterhooks …

huh keanu

… I mean, pins and needles, waiting to see that fresh, updated Rhymin’ Weekly Weigh-in after — what’s it been now? a month? month and a half?

twin peaks what year

Well, Agent Cooper, as I think we’re all WAY too aware, it’s still 2020, and will be for quite a bit longer, I’m afraid! BUT that doesn’t mean we can’t try to have a little fun, right?

right meme 1

And part of that fun is seeing just HOW much weight your favorite weight-loss diet guru blogger has lost during this shutdown thingy, seeing as how I’m, y’know, supposedly setting an example and all that … right?

damn right anchorman

So without further adieux …

get on1

Oh, sorry, Lord! OK then, today’s weight … let’s see … um … gee whillikers:

198.4
scales sorry charlie
Way more than before!!

Eep!! OK, yes, I did gain a teensy bit. Probably from all the stress, and the fact that my gym was closed. Certainly couldn’t have been the food … I hardly ate a bite, I was so worried!

junk food

Well, OK, maybe I took in a FEW more calories than I put out! But hey, we’re all in this together, right? I’m betting you [pointing left] and you [pointing right] and you in the middle there [pointing straight ahead] didn’t do that great either, right?

am i right ned

So look, in the words of virtually every TV and radio ad I’ve seen for the past few weeks, we’re all in this together, paddling the same canoe, blah blah blah togetherness, etc.

same boat cat

And now those of us who’ve, er, fluffed up a bit recently, have a chance to create a “new normal” for ourselves, which, if we do it right, should involve COUNTING THE GOLDURN CALORIES again, consarnit!

whee doggies jed clampett

Whaddya say, friends and neighborinos? Should we jump back on the horse that threw us, and head out on the trail again? I’m game if you are!

happy trails roy and dale

Okily dokily — let’s give it a try! I’ll meet you back here next week!

batman same bat time

Repost for Ash Wednesday, ’cause I’m preoccupied, dagnabit!

Hi, everyone! Oops — just realized I’d forgotten to do a blog post this morning! Dare I say I made an “ash” of myself? (Get it? ‘Cause it’s Ash Wednesday?)

Oh well, sorry! Anyhoo, no weigh-in today, but please enjoy this blast from the past (last year, to be exact) and I’ll see ya next week! 

FROM FEBRUARY 25, 2019:

Post-Road Trip, Pre-Lent Weigh-In

Good morning, everyone!

Meatfare Groundhog

Yes, that’s right — as I’ve occasionally mentioned in this blog before, I’m an Eastern Catholic (Byzantine, Ruthenian, Greek Catholic, or whatever). We’re simple folk with different ways, but we’re cool.

easternstress

Anyway, the main thing to know about us as it relates to this blog is that even though we’re Catholic, we follow the same basic traditions as the Eastern Orthodox. And yesterday was what we call “Meatfare,” or “Farewell, Meat!” (You militant vegans out there should appreciate that since it’s the total, polar opposite of “Meet your Meat.”)

meet meat

The idea is that instead of melodramatically going from feast (Mardi Gras) to famine (Ash Wednesday), we kinda slide into the whole fasting thing gently. This week, we give up meat. Next week, after Cheesefare Sunday, we give up … well … everything else, basically!

lent no soup for you.jpg

That’s right — our Lent officially starts two days BEFORE your Ash Wednesday!

endora

Anyway, you can read more about the whole Meatfare/Cheesefare Sundays thing here, if you’re so inclined. Meanwhile, I suppose I should get on with the whole weigh-in thing.

finally.jpg

Oh … wait … did I mention I was on a road trip last week? So that might have affected my weight? I mean, I did put the words “Post-Road Trip” in the post title and all, so I probably should at least mention it, right?

get on with it

Oh, all right!! Today’s weigh-in is, like people who don’t spout their political opinions to everyone they meet, whether they want to hear them or not (*cough* EVERY DAMN PERSON AT THE OSCARS *cough*), surprisingly neutral!

180.0
vo de o

That’s right — it’s EXACTLY the same as it was Monday, before I hit the road for beautiful, sunny Phoenix, Arizona!

Phoenix rain walk 1

And I did indulge in some non-diet-type foods at the hotel’s fabulous Continental Breakfast Bar.

So I’m actually pretty impressed that I managed to keep the numbers from wildly skyrocketing. I did do some walking (in between the torrential storms) so that probably helped.

umbrella.jpg

Anyway, that’s it! And I’m going out on a limb AND going on record (hmm, can’t seem to find a meme that combines those two images! how bizarre) to renew my pledge, before God and everybody, to start counting my calories again. To be completely honest, I’d slacked off a bit on actually writing everything down, and keeping a running total in my head. Now that may work for you super math geniuses, but y’know, I’m not one of those.

math2

So it’s back to pen(cil) and paper for me! Let’s see how that works out. Meanwhile, have a GREAT first week of pre-Lent, everyone! See you Friday for a brand-new Five!

five.jpg

 

Back From the Precipice!

Good morning, good morning!

And it IS a good morning, in spite of the fierce winds currently blowing outside our lovely estate here in the beautiful San Fernando Valley, because after (finally!) getting back to jotting down my calories on a daily basis, the needle on the scale (or the electronic equivalent thereof) budged:

193.8

I’m gonna keep this a bit short because there’s coffee waiting for me.

Also, there are strange rustling sounds coming from the boxes of papers and books behind me, here in the office. It’s either a cat, or something being CHASED by a cat.

Either way, I better check it out! Meanwhile, if you’re wondering if calorie counting really works as a weight loss tool — yes, it does! It may not work for everyone, but it works for me. I think it’s because making myself write down what I eat makes me more aware of what I’m eating – more “mindful,” to use a rather overused buzzword.

So if your weight loss has stalled, why not give it a try? You can get an app, like MyFitnessPal, or just use an actual piece of paper, and a writing implement of some sort.

I actually find the old-school way works best for me, but then I’m old, and I went to school, so there ya go! Anyway, I’m relieved to see the numbers finally starting to slide back from the 200-pound precipice! Let’s see if I can keep the momentum going!

(and week!)

Whether dieting or “Jesus-ing,” stick with the basics!

Welp, yet another small but HISTORICALLY significant gain this week — but some theological AND diet wisdom to go along with it! First, the annoying news:

190.4
don't step on scales
apple core

Yep, that’s right, as of today’s weigh-in, I’m no longer 50 pounds down!! Thus, I’ll either have to rename the blog (“50 by 61?” “50 by 62?”) OR get back to basics and recalibrate that diet!

cat mouse remember diet'

And in a weird weigh way, it kinda ties in with some theological stuff I’ve been dealing with. See, as you longtime regular readers (all 3 of you!) know, I’m a Byzantine Catholic.

babushka

However, every so often, like most sensible people, I have my doubts about the whole “religulous” thing. That’s because, also like a lot of otherwise sensible people, I have a tendency to let my religion get tied up with my politics, and wind up worshipping something more like the all-too-human leaders of my party of choice (whichever it is at the time) than any transcendent deity that may or may not exist!

And no matter which version of Jesus you favor, Democrat, Republican, or “other,” you have to know, deep down inside, that if there even is any such Person at all, He’s probably not tied to any one particular political party or ideology that we humanoids have managed to cobble together for ourselves!

30 rock we count those

Anyway, the nice thing about going through a bout of atheism on a regular basis is that it’s kinda like cleaning out that junk drawer in the kitchen.

junk drawer.jpgYou know how it is — you throw everything out, clean the drawer, leave it empty for a while, till one fine day you need to store a new kitchen thingy (“Hey, why not in that nice, clean, empty drawer?”) and then another thingy, and another,  till before you know it, everything’s back to normal! Except now, at least you’ve got NEW junk in there, instead of all the old junk, and for a while, anyway, maybe you’ll actually remember what’s in there, and occasionally even find something useful there!

batteries.jpg

(And trust me, I’m getting to the dieting stuff! Be patient!)

get on1

ANYHOO, so from time to time I throw out all the theological crap I’ve been storing in my internal junk drawer, aka “brain,” and then a few weeks/months/years later, I find myself with a brand new religious idea that makes sense! So I store it in my nice, clean, empty brain, then add another,  and another, till pretty soon everything’s back to normal, till the next spring cleaning time rolls around.

But the mistake a lot of theologically inclined people make when they’re losing their faith is to try and “Jesus” harder, a term I first came across in Rolltodisbelieve, a “nonreligious” Patheos blog by the very amusing and perceptive Captain Cassidy, aka Cassidy McGillicuddy. (And before my religulous friends get uptight, yes I’m still religious, but you know what? When you’re lost in the forest, sometimes it’s helpful to consult someone who’s outside it, and thus has a better view of the overall map!)

99 trees.jpg

Anyway, in a recent post, Captain Cassidy writes about how Christians rarely think about how they will cope if they find themselves starting to lose their faith:

If the doubters don’t want to do a bunch of busywork or they don’t respond in something other than the expected manner, then Christians fall back on accusing the doubters of Jesus-ing incorrectly. …
If doubters fail to resolve the doubt in question, then obviously the doubters allowed the scripts to fail.

Again, I don’t necessarily agree with all of the Captain’s *conclusions* in that post, but I sure do love the fact that she really pinpoints the problem(s) in ways that my fellow religulous friends are sometimes afraid to! And that brings me — AT LONG LAST!! — to the connection with the diet!

finally

When a longtime dieter who’s lost a whole bunch of weight starts regaining — “Why is this happening? I’m doing all the same stuff I was doing before! I’m eating all the same stuff!” — and they go online, what happens? Do they get sympathy (“Oh yeah, I’ve been there! Don’t worry, just take some deep breaths, get on with your life, take it one day at a time, it’ll all work out!“)? Well, maybe sometimes, but more often, they get stuff like:

“You’re dieting wrong! You should be [fill in fad diet of the month here] instead! What are your macros? Check your macros! Keto! Vegan! Calories don’t count!”

So here’s the connection! (OPINION ALERT!) Just like there’s all sorts of religions out there — all sorts of ways to find God and/or be spiritual or whatever — the ultimate goal of the best of them seems to boil down to having, and expressing, compassion and empathy for everyone.

jesus tattoos stupid questions

Now, some religions do that better than others, but you have to admit that’s at least the ideal, right? Well, the ultimate goal of every DIET is, of course, to lose weight! And some of them do that better than others — but they all do it by producing the same result: the all-important CALORIE DEFICIT!

calories points

As another blogger I admire, Jay at aworkoutroutine, points out, the best diet is the one that achieves that:

Whatever diet plan best suits your personal goals, needs and preferences and is therefore going to allow you to put the required fundamental principles of weight loss into action in the most Preferable, Enjoyable, Convenient and Sustainable (PECS!) way possible… THAT is the diet that’s best for you.

And that ties in with my personal opinion about “which is the best religion?”

brockman true faith.jpg

OPINION ALERT: The best religion is the one that makes you less likely to deliberately run over someone on your way to/from work — and the best diet is the one that results in a calorie deficit!!

Yes! It took a while but we finally got there!

what year fox.jpg

So there you go, your deep, heavy theological and dieting wisdom for the day! And yeah, I know this was a super-long post, but then again, I’m super-late posting it, so deal with it! See you next week!

happy wednesday.jpg

Sigh…okay, back to the grind, then!

gasp.jpg

Yeah, the bad news is:

189.0
30 rock no.jpg

Yikes! Well, that’s what happens when you (a) don’t count your calories and (b) spend a whole lotta time with your feet up on your comfy recliner binge-watching “30 Rock” during the “dog days” of summer!

30 rock kenneth dog.jpg

The good news is, it’s a wake-up call to get back to the basics:

1. Count my calories,

30 rock not much cheese.jpg

2. Eat right,

whole grain.jpg

and of course,

3. Exercise!

muffin top 4.jpg

No excuses! And I’m gonna get started…right AFTER my planned vacation, which starts, er, today! and hey, it’s in Phoenix, Arizona, so maybe the pounds will MELT off!

30 rock r and r.jpg

So I’ll try to spend the next week eating sensibly, yada yada yada, and we’ll see what happens.

yada yada.jpg

(my NEXT binge watch??)

Have a great week!

3 Signs You Should Step Off the Scale (Shared post from MyFitnessPal)

scales

Good morning, everyone! Here’s an excellent post from My Fitness Pal which really resonated with me this morning. Enjoy!

Should You Weigh Yourself? 3 Signs to Step Off the Scale

by Elizabeth Millard

Daily weigh-ins can be a valuable tool in understanding where you are in terms of a goal. But for me, and for many others, it can also become a source of anxiety and frustration.

Here are three signs you might want to put the scale away for at least a little while:

You can read the rest here! And after reading this, I think I am going to take a break from the daily weigh-ins. Maybe the best thing to do is focus on our overall health and enjoyment of life, and not let the numbers dictate our feelings.

As Elizabeth points out in the article:

After I stepped away from the scale for a while, I ended up going back with a better strategy and attitude. I chose to weigh myself weekly instead of daily, and to use that number as a guide that could help me tweak my caloric intake and activity levels — not as a set on an emotional roller coaster.

weight

Makes a lot of sense! Hopefully, this article will give you something to think about as well.

Hope you enjoyed this “surprise” mid-week post — see you next Tuesday for the weigh-in!

Same Ol’ Same Ol’!

Hey guys! Gotta make this a quickie weigh-in as I’m off to do some errands, churchy-type stuff, etc. Here we go:

186.0
d'oh

Same as last week … oh well, I kinda thought with all the walking I’d been doing, not to mention actually writing down my calories (for at least a couple of days!), it’d be down a little.

Oh well! As I have to keep reminding myself, the numbers on the scale ain’t everything!

scales

That’s right! Plus my other “non-scale” victories are holding firm, like being able to wear “normal” clothes, being able to go out and do long walks (which I still love, when it’s not 150 degrees outside!), etc.

not sure hot day

So overall, I’m actually feeling like my body is happy at this weight. And if my body’s happy, I’m happy!

happy song

Listen to the whole song here and dance your way to work! https://youtu.be/y6Sxv-sUYtM

Anyway, as aforementioned, gotta run! See y’all next week!

 

Couldn’t I just blame it on Trump, like everyone else?

Are we ready? Let’s play The Blame Game!!

blame game 1.jpg

Hrrmph…well, I debated whether to do a weigh-in today or wait till tomorrow, since last week’s was delayed till Tuesday.

But then I thought, y’know, that’s why I loved reading all the older weight loss blogs that inspired mine (like the great Shauna Reid’s Dietgirl). They posted the bad days as well as the good ones, so you, as the reader and potential co-dieter, felt like yeah, bad weight days happen to good people, but together, we can get through it!

So on that note (gulp), here goes:

184.8
scales2
trump not great

Yikes!! That’s a pretty big gain! Well, if I really want to play the blame game, there are plenty of candidates besides our beloved President!

— There’s Helen, the nice lady at our church who died, necessitating a funeral Saturday morning, necessitating her family to come in from out of town and take us out to a big lunch afterwards, at their expense, with cheesecake for dessert.
blaming dead

— There’s Karen, the equally nice (but not dead) lady who also came in from out of town, stayed to visit her family, and invited us to their house for a backyard barbecue yesterday afternoon, featuring lots of big bowls of chips, hot dogs, burgers with cheese, and of course, cheesecake.

blame oprah

And last but not least, of course, there’s MOI!

trump you rang.jpg

Because to be completely honest, I haven’t been tracking my calories for quite a while and I’m pretty sure I haven’t been creating that all-important calorie deficit which, whether you’re doing the No S diet or any other way of arranging your food intake, is the one and only way the weight will go DOWN instead of up!

So the winner and champion in today’s blame game is — me!!

winning charlie.jpg

Oh well, the nice thing about weighing myself every day is I get plenty of early warning alarms when the weight is creeping upwards, and can take charge of the situation. I can waste time blaming others for putting delicious food in my path, or I can smile politely and say, “No thanks” — it’s up to ME!

blame others change self.jpg

And I do think I’ll go back to writing all my calories down this week, and see if I can get a better handle on where I’m overeating. The “No S” thing is nice, but  primarily on the “S” days, which isn’t really the point of the whole thing! So during the following week, I’ll go back to a way of eating that’s more natural for me, write down all the calories, and let the chips fall where they may.

no chips for you.jpg

OK, OK!! Meantime, have a great week!

keep watching skis

 

 

Ch-ch-ch-changes! (to the diet AND the blog! wowsers!)

OK, don’t freak out, man, but I’m making a couple of tweaks here! Nothing serious, just a couple of necessary repairs.

 

First, re: the blog — I’m not gonna do the “Friday Five” thing anymore, or at least not regularly. It’s just getting too hard to come up with five semi-related things. I mean, seriously, I was actually contemplating “Five Reasons Not to Open Your Window on an Airplane”!

nightmare.jpg

And really, where do you go after the obligatory “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” joke? So, no more “Friday Fives” unless I actually have five important (and diet- or exercise-related) things to pass along to y’all.

Second, the diet itself! Those of you who’ve been reading this blog for a while may remember that before I started my current round of weight loss via calorie counting, I lost a respectable 20 pounds on the No S Diet.

no s diet

I liked the plan because it was super-simple — no need to write anything down, no need to give up foods I loved (just defer them to “S” days). I managed to lose 20 pounds over the course of a year, which may not sound like a lot, but that weight STAYED OFF, yo!

The main problem I had with it, though, as I related wayyyy back in August of 2017 (“Part 2 of How I Got Here“), was my inability to defer the pleasure that is the Trader Joe’s Mini “Hold The Cone”!

95434-hold-the-cone-vanilla

Yes, as with so many of us dieters, chocolate was my downfall. Although it turned out to be for the best.

good thing.jpg

I decided to try good old-fashioned calorie counting, so I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I did the required accounting. And that was great! I lost over 60 pounds with that method, and coupled with the 20 I lost on the No S, that’s … let’s see … carry the one …

math2

… over 80 pounds down, which is nothing to sneeze at! Still, the last few months, I’ve been over-snacking, and not tracking my calories, because honestly, it does get a little tedious after a while, doesn’t it? Writing down all those numbers? I mean, you know…

barbie doll.jpg

OK, not that! But anyway, I’ve decided I need to do something different for a while, so I’m switching back to the No S Diet, but with ONE modification: I’m making it the “ONE S Diet!” I’m going to allow myself one and ONLY one “S” (snack/sweet) per day. Can you guess what that one “S” is going to be?

cones

Yep, one “Hold the Cone” every evening! At least for a while. I like to think of them as my “No S Diet” training wheels — I’ll use ’em till I don’t need ’em anymore. Or till Trader Joe’s stops selling them, and if you shop at Trader Joe’s, you know they have a distressing tendency to suddenly stop selling stuff you like.

trader joe

FWIW I’ve been doing this since Tuesday, and it’s not bad at all. And it’s really nice not to have to remember, and then remember to write down, how many reduced fat string cheeses I had. Or shred precisely 28 grams of cheddar cheese for the salad, and write it down. Etc., etc.

don knotts etc.jpg

So there ya go — no “Friday Five” and a new/old diet! How will these ch-ch-ch-changes affect the Monday weigh-in (which ISN’T changing)? Well, we’ll just have to find out — on Monday! See ya then!

trump weekend.jpg