Grab your face masks — we’re goin’ in!

Testing …

testing smart guy

testing …

testing 123 viking

testing …

testing 123 office space

and WE’RE BACK!!

yay grumpy cat

Yes, that’s right, ladies and gents, welcome back to your favorite weight-loss blog of all time!! And I know you’ve all been on tenterhooks …

huh keanu

… I mean, pins and needles, waiting to see that fresh, updated Rhymin’ Weekly Weigh-in after — what’s it been now? a month? month and a half?

twin peaks what year

Well, Agent Cooper, as I think we’re all WAY too aware, it’s still 2020, and will be for quite a bit longer, I’m afraid! BUT that doesn’t mean we can’t try to have a little fun, right?

right meme 1

And part of that fun is seeing just HOW much weight your favorite weight-loss diet guru blogger has lost during this shutdown thingy, seeing as how I’m, y’know, supposedly setting an example and all that … right?

damn right anchorman

So without further adieux …

get on1

Oh, sorry, Lord! OK then, today’s weight … let’s see … um … gee whillikers:

198.4
scales sorry charlie
Way more than before!!

Eep!! OK, yes, I did gain a teensy bit. Probably from all the stress, and the fact that my gym was closed. Certainly couldn’t have been the food … I hardly ate a bite, I was so worried!

junk food

Well, OK, maybe I took in a FEW more calories than I put out! But hey, we’re all in this together, right? I’m betting you [pointing left] and you [pointing right] and you in the middle there [pointing straight ahead] didn’t do that great either, right?

am i right ned

So look, in the words of virtually every TV and radio ad I’ve seen for the past few weeks, we’re all in this together, paddling the same canoe, blah blah blah togetherness, etc.

same boat cat

And now those of us who’ve, er, fluffed up a bit recently, have a chance to create a “new normal” for ourselves, which, if we do it right, should involve COUNTING THE GOLDURN CALORIES again, consarnit!

whee doggies jed clampett

Whaddya say, friends and neighborinos? Should we jump back on the horse that threw us, and head out on the trail again? I’m game if you are!

happy trails roy and dale

Okily dokily — let’s give it a try! I’ll meet you back here next week!

batman same bat time

In these difficult times, have some more ice cream!

Well, hey, everyone! Welcome aboard! Yes, it’s Wednesday … again …

groundhog day documentary

and it’s not yet April 30th (that’s tomorrow!) so I’m still not doing my Official Weigh-In, but you’ll be happy to hear I’m doing my best to avoid the so-called “COVID-15.”

dr who fat

Or will you? Because frankly, that’s one of those terms that’s become an annoying cliche or catchphrase.

cliche

And I dunno about you, but there are quite a few phrases I’d like to see banished from polite conversation, when all this is over! For example:

“We’re all in the same boat.” — Uh well, no, we’re not!! A celebrity living in a mansion with your own private gym, swimming pool, tennis courts, and live-in servants, is in a very different boat than a single mother living in a studio apartment in North Hollywood with three screaming kids.

same boat

“Social distancing” — Not that I have ANY problem with the concept of staying at least six feet away from all other human beings! As an introvert, I pretty much do that anyway! Still, what with email, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, Zoom meetings galore, and all those fancy-schmancy new parts of The Interwebs, we’re doing way more social networking, so the “social” part of the “distancing” doesn’t really make sense.

social distancing baptism

“In these difficult/challenging/uncertain times, buy more stuff!” Look, I get it — small businesses are struggling, and they’re trying to figure out how to stay afloat while keeping both their employees and their customers safe. But ultimately, they’re trying to figure out how to keep selling stuff, because that’s what they do. Which is fine! I ain’t no commie! But look — they’re spending , like, 90% of their advertising budget right now TELLING us that they’re doing all this!! Pro tip: Just Do It! And donate all that ad revenue to a food bank or something!

batman robin challenging times

“Because we’re all in this together” — and yeah, I know, that’s kinda similar to the “same boat” one. However, I’m mentioning it specifically because it’s now the main tagline on virtually every commercial break at my otherwise favorite radio station, KFI AM 640, in Los Angeles, a pleasant mix of angst and comedy that accompanies my daily crafting efforts out in my She Shed. I’m guessing when this is all over, that (as well as some of these other phrases) is gonna become a punchline for some pretty tasteless jokes, and I for one can’t wait!

were all in this together

“When all this is over” — Yes, well, here I have to point the finger directly at myself, as I use this one all the time! And it’s never REALLY gonna be over. I don’t know about you, but I for one am gonna be hanging onto the face masks, hoarding toilet paper, and backing away from human contact for many years to come!

parakeet back off

Sigh — well, that’s all I got right now, folks. I haven’t actually had breakfast yet — just a little cofveve, to get my brain in gear. (And it worked, right?)

block print by artnoose

Anyway, when this is all over, I’ll post my official weigh-in again, because we’re all in this together! See ya next week!!

bach next week

Are we focusing too much on weight during the lockdown?

Hey, everyone! How are you holding up? I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a lot of quality crocheting and knitting projects done.

And my weight is pretty much staying the same, a little up, a little down, but basically circling around the same area it’s been for the last several months:

194.6

However, I’m thinking after today I might give myself a break from the weigh-ins.

Don’t worry, I’ll still blog! But I came across this article in Glamour Magazine last week, “Everyone is Terrified of Getting ‘Quarantine Fat’ and Just Enough Already,” in which author Lindsay Schallon says:

Despite the fact we’re going through an unprecedented health crisis, the prevailing message on social media right now is that we’re somehow supposed to be “making the most” of our time spent indoors. Write that novelOrganize your closetBake breadGet quarantine fit!

Now, I don’t blame anyone for taking up a new hobby in order to distract themselves. You can only have so many conversations with your cat until you begin to feel completely deranged. But that last one—the idea that we should be using all this “extra time” to lose weight, or at least not gain any—moves beyond feeling productive and gives into a societal fear I thought we were moving past: Getting “fat.”

And I think she makes some great points! It’s what I’ve been saying as well: if cocooning with a good book and a big bowl of M&M-laced trail mix is what you need to help you get through this time of very legitimate angst, I am NOT going to tell you you’re wrong!

And neither is Pope Frankie!

So do what you need to do to stay sane! Sure, I think it’s great if you’re enthusiastic about doing more exercise and working out and sticking to your diet. But it’s ALSO great if you’d rather put off the healthy stuff till the crisis passes.

Do what you need to do! And in the spirit of nonjudgmentalism (also because, frankly, next week is Easter, which means a whole lot of cheese and chocolate and eggs and meat, in our household anyway!)…

…I’m hereby giving MYSELF a break from the Official Weekly Rhymin’ Weigh-Ins, till April 30th.

(and btw, so long, Schitts Creek!! loved that series finale!!)

Again, I’ll still check in on Wednesdays with a cheery “howdy”! Just won’t be updating the numbers for a while. So feel perfectly free to do the same! You have this kinda-sorta diet guru’s full permission!

See ya next week for the NON-weigh-in!

Pollyanna meets the Apocalypse (the unauthorized sequel)

If you’re tired of all those cheerful Facebook videos, Twitter posts, and other messages of hope and optimism from our suddenly shuttered world — well, you’ll probably want to pass this one by as well. Yeah, I’m one of those relentlessly “glass is half full” types who refuse to let you wallow in unmitigated misery!

glass half

And Pollyanna may have been an unbearable little twit, but she had her good points (especially as played by Hayley Mills, who wasn’t quite as unbearable as the original)! Namely, she helped all those around her, even l’il orphan Jimmy, see the upside of things!

prisms

There’s always something fun to do, even in a seemingly never-ending lockdown!

But Pollyanna had a point — when life screws you over, like it has so many of us recently, you have to decide how you’re going to deal with it. Rage, rage, against the dying of the light? Or rejoice, because now you can see the stars more clearly?

doctor dark stars

That was pretty philosophical, huh? Hey, I have my moments! So anyway, now that Pollyanna and I have helped you see the brighter side of the Apocalypse, let’s check the ol’ weightaroonie, shall we?

193.8

Yikes! Uh, uh yeah, well, y’see, my gym’s been closed for a week (the one I rarely go to anyway) and all the hiking trails have been closed (not that I’d go hiking in the rain anyway) and church is closed, so none of those fun Lenten prostrations (even though I always just bend over halfway and touch the edge of the pew — hey, I’m not a FANATIC, man!) and there’s not enough healthy snacks at the grocery stores (other than the vegetables, which no one seems to be hoarding for some reason).

lame excuse

I mean, there’s an excuse for everything, right? And it’s a stressful time for all of us, and at least another week to go! And yeah, I know it could be *longer* than a week, but let’s face it, one week at a time is probably the best we can all do right now, am I right?

one week later

Oh, let’s hope not! But if it does, rest assured, I’ll still be here to spread more cheer! (Oh, and speaking of spreading more cheer — you TOTALLY have my permission to treat yourself to one completely off-limits, highly calorific, fatty junk food item this week! Go nuts, friends! We’ll work it off together once this is all over!)

junk food

Totally noncontroversial weigh-in!

Wow, sorry about getting super-controversial last week, folks! What can I say? Sometimes I just gotta let it all hang out!

cat hang out

Of course, that’s kinda the reason I’m doing a weight loss blog — too MUCH hanging out (nyuk nyuk!). So let’s ditch the controversy this week, and get right to the straight dope!

straight dopes 3 stooges

Hey, have you visited my other website yet? Why not? 

NO, not that one! (or that one, or that one! nyuk nyuk) I MEANT, the weigh-in!

192.8
NOT GREAT

YIKES! Well, for the past several weeks, I’ve been hangin’ out at Plateau Point. But for some reason, this week I’m trying to keep that rock from rolling back downhill!

sisyphus maintaining.jpg

I’m not complaining – there are worse places I could be. You know, like BACK OVER 200 POUNDS, which I am really wishin’ and hopin’ and prayin’ to avoid. (And yeah, I suppose a little workin’ out and calorie countin’ wouldn’t hurt, either!

captain obvious.jpg

Still, I haven’t given up hoping that one morning I’ll wake up and all this fat will magically be gone. It could happen! I read a Barbara Cartland* romance novel once where the heroine was a big fat princess who was engaged to a prince, but she had some sort of delicate medical emergency that entailed being put in a coma for several months, during which she lost all sorts of weight, after which the prince fell madly in love with her and begged her to marry him, which she agreed to do but only if they could do it RIGHT AWAY, so she could let herself go again after the wedding.

romantic.jpg

Of course, I’m already married, and I let myself go a long time ago! Still, a girl can dream, can’t she? See ya next week, everyone!

*Barbara Cartland (1901-2000) wrote tons of romance novels involving virgins who got in trouble (but not THAT kind of trouble) but always had a happy ending (and yeah, THAT kind of happy ending, although it was very, very, very delicately implied!), and when I was younger you could find her books EVERYWHERE, usually in laundromats or thrift shops with the front covers torn off. 

barbara cartland.jpg

 

 

Sigh…okay, back to the grind, then!

gasp.jpg

Yeah, the bad news is:

189.0
30 rock no.jpg

Yikes! Well, that’s what happens when you (a) don’t count your calories and (b) spend a whole lotta time with your feet up on your comfy recliner binge-watching “30 Rock” during the “dog days” of summer!

30 rock kenneth dog.jpg

The good news is, it’s a wake-up call to get back to the basics:

1. Count my calories,

30 rock not much cheese.jpg

2. Eat right,

whole grain.jpg

and of course,

3. Exercise!

muffin top 4.jpg

No excuses! And I’m gonna get started…right AFTER my planned vacation, which starts, er, today! and hey, it’s in Phoenix, Arizona, so maybe the pounds will MELT off!

30 rock r and r.jpg

So I’ll try to spend the next week eating sensibly, yada yada yada, and we’ll see what happens.

yada yada.jpg

(my NEXT binge watch??)

Have a great week!

Procrastination never works, amiright?

Hi everyone! Mr. 50by60 and I had a nice weekend, participating in a celebration of the 50th anniversary of Annunciation Byzantine Catholic Church in Anaheim, California. And of course, when church-y people celebrate anything, there’s inevitably FOOD involved.

So, I held off an extra day for the weigh-in because I thought that would give my weight a chance to settle back down a bit, after not one but TWO days’ worth of food.

Yeah, I don’t think it made all that much difference! So …

here’s the weigh-in:

186.0

Oh well — the GOOD news is that even though our own beloved pastor is retiring this weekend, he’s made it abundantly clear that he does NOT want or expect a potluck! And of course, being good, obedient Catholics, we always do what our priest tells us, so there shouldn’t be any more fattening food to deal with this weekend.

And just a reminder, I’ve decided to shift the weigh-in from Mondays to Tuesdays for a while, to see if that makes any difference. Obviously, it didn’t THIS week, so as usual, everything’s subject to change — including yours truly, nyuk nyuk!

Oh well — see ya next TUESDAY and we’ll see how things go!

Monday Weigh-In: Post-Fartlek!

Good morning, everyone, and for those of you who are still struggling to wake up, welcome to Daylight Savings Time 2019!

timelord

We go through this every year, and it never gets easier, does it? Oh well … try to make the best of it! Remember, we’ll get that precious, precious hour returned to us in … oh, let’s see, eight months, I guess.

btfuture

Don’t worry, the time’ll just fly by! Meantime, how ’bout that weigh-in?

179
scales
mighty fine

Not too shabby! And by the way, remember a couple of weeks ago when I did that post, “Five exercises that sound like they’re … er … something else!!“? Well, how in the world did I leave out FARTLEKS??

fartlek 2.jpg

I mean, I’ve actually being DOING them! Whenever I go out on my tentative runs — basically, walking for a while — then deciding to run as fast as I can from, say, that rock over there to that palm tree down there — then slowing back down to a walk again. I had no idea that was a “thing”! But apparently it is!

linus fartlek

If you want to do some fartlek training yourself, go for it! It’s easy and fun! And I’ve signed up for my very first 5K, the Dream Mile Color Run/Walk 2019, at the end of this month, so I’m hoping to use my newly discovered fartlek skills to possibly finish in less than a full hour!

Fartlek 1.jpg

It is, isn’t it? Feel free to say it to someone at work today, then chuckle as they threaten to bring you up on sexual harassment charges! It’s good, clean fun! Meanwhile, enjoy your Monday, and don’t worry — you WILL get used to this stupid time change (eventually)!

 

Are you up for the 7-Day Walking Challenge?

Happy Monday, everyone! Well, last night I indulged in a special treat — prime rib (well done) with mashed potatoes and gravy and Yorkshire pudding, mmm!

So it’s really not that much of a surprise that this morning’s weigh-in is:

181.6

Grr! Ya know what? I’ve been hangin’ out in the ’80s too long! Maintenance is great, but this ain’t the weight I want to maintain! SO — this week I’m starting the Great 2019 7-Day Walking Challenge! Who’s with me?

Aw come on!! Seriously, here’s the ground rules:

  1. Walk (and/or run) for *at least* 30 minutes every day.That’s it! Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? And to make it extra special, I’ll add a second rule, just for me:
  2. Post a brief comment on the blog every day, even if it’s only, “Yeah, I did the #@*% walk, ok??”

And of course, I’ll still be counting my calories. So maybe THIS is the week I can finally blast through that border wall

Just a gentle reminder from Spidey

and get back into the ’70s! Who’s with me?

Well, I’m doin’ it anyway! So enjoy your Monday, and I’ll see you again — Tuesday!