Happy Birthday, Donna Lehman Krum!

Hey, guess what today is? That’s right, folks, it’s

DONNA LEHMAN KRUM’S BIRTHDAY!

And just who is Donna Lehman Krum, you ask? Well, good question! Here’s the answer: she’s one of my cousins (at least I *think* she is — I’m still not 100% sure what the actual cousin-ography line of succession is on that side of the family). Anyway, today’s a big birthday for her, so Donna, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! and here’s your free plug!!!

Oh, and by the way, it’s ALSO apparently my 10th anniversary with WordPress, according to the popup message I got from them when I signed in this morning! Of course, being WordPress, they didn’t make it easy, or even possible, for me to cut & paste the actual message, so I’ll just have to give you an approximation:

wordpress anniversary

That’s the power of blogging, folks! You can say what you like and nobody can stop you!

trump laugh

Except yourself, of course!

trump say what now

And on that note, let me stop blathering and give you this morning’s weight report!

193.0
fonz whoa rhymes with o

OK, that’s good — still kinda sorta on that downward trend, one micromillimeter of a pound at a time! Every little bit counts! And, y’know, that sort of thing …

get smart missed

As long as the arrow’s pointing down, I’m OK with it! So go out and celebrate something today — Donna’s birthday, my WP anniversary — or heck, your ability to actually get out of bed this morning!

cat out of bed

I mean, there’s always something good happening to someone, somewhere, right? If it isn’t you, well, it will be at some point!

pollyanna cat

Well, pooh on you, Pessimistic Meme Cat! That’s my philosophy and I’m stickin’ to it — at least till next week! See ya then!

sound of music so long

 

“Good morning, I’m fat! How are you?”

“I’m fat; how are you?” Great line, isn’t it? Sure wish I’d come up with it! But no, I have to give proper credit: it’s from Simcha Fischer’s “What’s for Supper? Vol. 201, Potatoes and Other Tornadoes?” post last week.

Well, there’s something to be said for celebrating, rather than denigrating, your fatness sometimes — and my cat Pumpkin seems to agree, since she seems to find my “trying-to-sleep-under-a-mountain-of-covers” body the perfect memory foam pillow, to knead and mold into the shape she wants!

And of course, all this preliminary hoohah is just my way of psyching us all up for today’s weigh-in! Shall we?

194.0

Yeah, up an entire 0.6 pounds since last week!! The horror, the horror! But hark, what’s that approaching, in the not-too-distant future?

That’s right, campers, it’s that time of year again! And if you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know that yours truly follows the Byzantine Catholic way of life (more or less!).

And being pseudo-Orthodox, the ideal is to give up all meat, cheese, dairy, oils, and just plain FUN for the next month-plus.

And then, of course, during the week FOLLOWING Pascha, or Easter (aka “Spring,” for all my atheist, heathen, and Pagan pals!), it’s basically “all you can eat at the Resurrection buffet” time!

(And “New Calendar,” please — I can’t wait another week!)

So here’s the sked: this Sunday is Meatfare, following which we give up

the following Sunday is Cheesefare, after which we give up

and voila, there we are, all us Eastern Christians, deep in the heart of Lent a full two days before all you Westerners get those smudges on your foreheads!

But hey, it’s all good! At least, it’s *supposed* to be good. I always think I’m going to lose weight during Lent, but somehow it never happens. Maybe because “bread” is not one of the forbidden fruits — and I can definitely eat WAY too much bread!

Which is just another reason not to give up on the calorie counting, ’cause no matter what you’re eating — even if you’re a full-fledged Ultra-Orthodox Vegan — it’s STILL possible to overdo it!

So there ya go! And here *I* go, but I’ll see ya NEXT week, when hopefully we’ll have, not Meatfare or Cheesefare, but FATFARE!! So long, fat!!

Doctor Who, “Partners in Crime,” Catherine Tate & David Tennant

State of the Weight!!

Well, good morning, everyone! I’m sure we all enjoyed last night’s State of the Union address, featuring President Trump, a frequent visitor to my meme gallery, and a couple of newbies

Of course, not everyone enjoyed it:

But ya know, you can’t please everyone! So on that note, let’s check out the State of the Weight, shall we?

193.4

Hey, not too shabby! I mean, I’d rather it was a LOT lower, but I’m fine with it just going down in dribs & drabs, right? As long as it’s down, not up!

So unless you’re in Iowa,

get ready to MAKE A DIFFERENCE for your country! Meanwhile, don’t rip up that diet plan just yet, Nancy!

I’m sure it’s chock-full of great weight loss ideas from our beloved Prez!

So let’s give it a try, and meet back here again NEXT week — whaddya say?

OK, well, the REST of us will be here, David! Have a great week, everyone!

Back From the Precipice!

Good morning, good morning!

And it IS a good morning, in spite of the fierce winds currently blowing outside our lovely estate here in the beautiful San Fernando Valley, because after (finally!) getting back to jotting down my calories on a daily basis, the needle on the scale (or the electronic equivalent thereof) budged:

193.8

I’m gonna keep this a bit short because there’s coffee waiting for me.

Also, there are strange rustling sounds coming from the boxes of papers and books behind me, here in the office. It’s either a cat, or something being CHASED by a cat.

Either way, I better check it out! Meanwhile, if you’re wondering if calorie counting really works as a weight loss tool — yes, it does! It may not work for everyone, but it works for me. I think it’s because making myself write down what I eat makes me more aware of what I’m eating – more “mindful,” to use a rather overused buzzword.

So if your weight loss has stalled, why not give it a try? You can get an app, like MyFitnessPal, or just use an actual piece of paper, and a writing implement of some sort.

I actually find the old-school way works best for me, but then I’m old, and I went to school, so there ya go! Anyway, I’m relieved to see the numbers finally starting to slide back from the 200-pound precipice! Let’s see if I can keep the momentum going!

(and week!)

Insert Humorous Blog Post Title Here (or, “What? It’s Wednesday Already?”)

Yeah, I wasn’t really prepared for this, after sustaining a minor but very annoying injury on an otherwise enjoyable hike this past Monday when, in my best Peter Griffin imitation, I slipped and whacked my kneecap on a very hard, irritatingly unyielding rock!

peter griffin knee

Contrary to all the concerned Facebook comments I got when I posted about it later, I wasn’t so much worried about “omg, I’m all alone, who will help me?” as I was, “omg, I hope I don’t have to get one of those mountain bikers or large, noisy families to help me!” See, it was MLK Day, and on federal holidays, the parks don’t charge the usual entrance fees.

horde

So it wasn’t like I was stranded out in the wilderness with only a few Fedex boxes to keep me alive till I could get off the island.

castaway 2

No, I channeled my inner Grumpy Cat and hobbled my way around the rest of the trail,

grumpy cat

enjoying the scenery and making extravagant promises to my knee involving hot bubble baths, ice packs, etc. if it would just hold out till I got back to the parking lot. And it did! I checked the mileage later and found that my fall had happened at mile 1.5, after which I walked another 3.5 miles!

huell2

That’s right, Huell! Which is why it’s REALLY annoying to have to tell you that, after all that — after the long hike, the knee whack, and STILL sticking to my calorie counting the next day — my weight is STILL up!

195.8
scales sorry charlie
gday mate

Which makes me think that maybe I should be focusing less on the weight and more on the fact that I’m a bada$$ old hiker lady! I mean, maybe the reason my knee WASN’T injured as badly as it might have been is that layer of fat protecting it!

plausible

So maybe I won’t worry too much about the weight, and instead, look into the possibility of getting some of those cool folding hiking poles, which might actually have been useful around mile 1.5!

hiking poles

And meanwhile, I’ll just keep countin’ the calories and walking, when I can!

twirling

See ya next week!

 

 

Hiking for Fun and (sometimes) Weight Loss!

First, let’s get this out of the “weigh” (get it?):

don't get it

Oh, it’s funny, all right! All humor at 50by60.com is guaranteed to make you laugh, or you get a full refund on your admission price!

seriously.jpg

OK, okay*! Here ya go, my Offishul Way-In for the Weak:

195.4
scales
core bore

There ya go, down a little from last week — not too shabby! And I’ve been doing some actual hiking during the past week, too, which I think has helped with the weight loss (though not so much with the knees!), assuming I can avoid eating back all the calories I burned. And of course, you know the old saying about “assuming”!

assume

So, on that note, let me post with a photo I took yesterday at a place I have hiked to twice, Lasky Mesa, in the Upper Las Virgenes Open Space (“in or near Los Angeles,” as Grampa Google puts it), because I have searched high and low on the Interwebs and NO ONE has posted a photo of this neat and weird-looking little pool of water:

lasky mesa

Weird pool of water surrounded by sand/rock dunes, Lasky Mesa, Upper Las Virgenes Open Space, photo by Christine Lehman

Yes, you, faithful reader, are seeing something that most people don’t know exists! That’s what hiking does for you! (Well, that and making your knees hurt, but ya know, it’s always something!)

it's always something roseanne.jpg

See ya next time for more Adventures In Hiking!

*It’s been a while since I’ve mentioned it, but I do freelance transcription, which means I have to remember that one company’s Style Guide says to use “OK” and the other company says to use “Okay” and god/dess help you if you get confused. Get it? Got it? Good!

First 2020 Weigh-In: Danger Zone!!

All right, let’s get it over with!!

196.8
scales sorry charlie.jpg
bait bait.jpg

Yikes! Definitely up quite a bit since the last weigh-in before Christmas. And I’m much too close to my self-imposed “danger zone” border line (200 pounds) for comfort!

danger zone.jpg

However, it’s not QUITE as bad as it could have been. Mainly because of this AWESOME WEIGHT LOSS TIP I’m happy to pass on to you, my loyal readers, for FREE! to wit:

  1. If you don’t like your weight, go back to bed for an hour. Then weigh yourself again. 99.99% of the time, it’ll go down! And if it doesn’t, you’ve now got TWO weights to choose from!

goober pyle

Isn’t that amazing, kids? I’m sure there’s a completely scientific reason for it that I’m not qualified to explain, since I’m definitely not a scientist! But for some reason, THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK works for me, and therefore it must have tons of scientific validity behind it!

science trump.jpg

So you totally have my permission, on this Wednesday, January 8, 2020, to go back to bed! (If your boss gives you a hard time, tell them you visited a hypnotist yesterday and it hasn’t worn off yet.)

missing work office space.jpg

See ya next week!

 

Happy 2020! It’s Resolutions Time!

Hey, everyone, happy 2020! Are you stoked for making New Year’s resolutions? Well, good! My first resolution:

1. Use more “woman yelling at cat” memes — they’re comedy gold!

woman cat new year

2. Learn how to do origami!

origami bird

3. Learn to make paper flowers!

paper flower

4. Make all the paper beads I cut out from Trader Joe’s Mini Ice Cream Cones boxes last year and never got around to finishing, as well as all the other crafts I’ve started and abandoned at various points.

5. Make sure any and all resolutions I make this year are completely, 100% negative-consequence-free!

6. And finally, if there’s time and I feel up to it, keep writing all these fun blog posts that are kinda sorta peripherally related to my continuing efforts to maintain my more-or-less 50-pound weight loss!

Yeah, well, I’ve had a lotta “enhanced” eggnog tonight, so sue me!

So on that note, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my loyal readers! Join me NEXT Wednesday for the first weigh-in of 2020!!

Last Post Before The New Year!

rise and shine.jpg

Yeah, I know, it’s not Groundhog Day yet, but it IS cold out there, campers! Here in beautiful Reseda, California, it was a bone-chilling 49 degrees every day last week! Then, er, we replaced the battery in our thermometer.

aa batteries.jpg

I mean, still kinda chilly! Not quite as consistently, though.

eyeroll

Anyhoo, let’s get to the weigh-in, shall we? Here we go!

193.0
fix smaller
ho ho no

Hey, same as last week! Not too shabby, considering we got a big giant Hickory Farms gift basket from my brother and sister-in-law (hi, Mike and Kim!) and most of it’s, um, well, not quite so giant anymore! And there’s more on the way from my cousin!

oh look pie.jpg

Yeah, it’s that time of year — but that also means we’re getting close to New Year’s Resolution Time, baby!

sw new goal

Yes, we’ll all get together and join hands and pledge to keep all the same resolutions we so enthusiastically gave up on last February!

whos with me.jpg

That’s OK, Bluto! You don’t have to worry about it for another coupla weeks! Meantime, as is my wont…

wont

…I’m giving myself a Blogging Break so I can enjoy the holidays guilt-free! (Or at least, without telling YOU about it!) And hey, why not take a Diet Break yourself? Go on!

go on go on.jpg

You deserve it! Enjoy all the special stuff you only get this time of year (and/or in January if you shop the clearance aisles at Walgreens)! I’ll meet you right back here on January 1, 2020, and we’ll renew our Commitment To Diet!

binge trump

And if it’s good enough for our Prez, it’s good enough for me! See you next year!!!

face i make next year.jpg

Best way to lose weight? Wait, wait!

So this morning, at around 6:30, I get up to let the cats out (for the first time).

cat out in

Actually, just one cat, Buddy, the Big Guy. He likes to go out and let the other cats in the neighborhood know, as early as possible, that our yard is HIS yard, and visitors will not be tolerated. Our other (newer) cat, Pumpkin, prefers to stay inside, cuddling into the soft, warm blanket for as long as possible. Which is what I do, too, after Weigh-In #1:

194.2
gotchu boo parks rec

I get back in bed, thinking about ways to break the horrifying news, in this blog, that I’ve gained over 2 pounds since last week’s weigh-in! And thinking of words that rhyme with “two” — boo?, coo?, doo?, yeah, “boo’s” good. I settle on “boo” and go back to sleep for about 15-20 minutes, till I’m awakened by an imperative little paw, with claws out. “Time for breakfast!” Pumpkin is saying.

cat claws back.jpg

So I get up, stumble into the kitchen, crack open one of those big giant can of Friskies Tuna and Egg,

friskies flaked tuna egg

which Buddy adores and which Pumpkin will eat, too, because she eats EVERYTHING.

hey mikey.jpg

Then, while they’re stuffing their cute kitty faces, I stumble back to bed, stopping on the way to check the weight again. Still

194.2
oh poo

“Hmm, ‘poo’ is funnier than ‘boo,'” I think, as I settle down in bed again, turning on my Kindle and doing a preliminary search for today’s memes. About 15-20 minutes later, Mr. 50by60 yawns, stretches, and decides it’s time to seize the day at last!

crappy diem.jpg

I decide to do one last weigh-in (third time’s the charm, right?) and am beyond thrilled to see that at some point during the past quarter of an hour, I lost over a pound of flesh!!!

waving at fat
Doctor Who, “Partners in Crime,” Catherine Tate & David Tennant

So, long story short, I’ve still got a gain to report, but not quite as bad!

193.0
moe moe moe

And yeah, it’s STILL a gain, a full one pound over last week, but hey, I’m OK with it! I’ve been weighing in at @194 all week, so at least it’s heading in the right direction — I think!

down up

Oh, and if YOU’RE unhappy with your weight this morning —

patience grasshopper.jpg

take my advice: go back to bed! Maybe you’re just weighing yourself too early in the day! Or maybe sleep causes weight loss. Who knows? I mean, they have sleep dentistry — why not sleep weight loss?

reagan great idea.jpg

Come to think of it, that’s JUST what happened in that Barbara Cartland romance novel I was telling you just a few short weeks ago! Hmm — maybe next week I’ll do the weigh-in at noon! I’ll hit my target in no time!

chance jim carrey.jpg

Meanwhile, have a great week, and remember: To Lose Weight, Wait!!

wait trump.jpg