Our long national nightmare is over — now we can start focusing on what’s REALLY important, like my weight!

Whew! Well, unless something really crazy happens after I post this (and you and I know that’s still a live possibility), today Joe Biden will be sworn in as the 46th Prez of these here Yoo-nited States!

And life can finally go back to … well, whatever passes for “normal” these days, I’ve kinda lost track!

And per my (perhaps a tad overlong) post title, we can start focusing on the REALLY important stuff, like my ongoing struggle to keep my weight below 200 pounds! How did I do this week? Let’s step on the scales and find out, shall we?

199.2

Hey, only 0.6 pounds down, but I’ll take it! Especially given how all the stress in the world has affected me, personally!

Well, it is my blog, Napoleon! But yeah, I suppose the trauma in the world might have affected some of you, as well!

So that’s why I have decided to issue you, the loyal reader(s) of this blog, a 24-hour Non-Presidential Pardon from all dieting misdeeds, mishaps, and miscalculations of calories!

Use it wisely, my friends! And remember, it expires exactly 24 hours after you read this sentence!

You’re asking me? As Mr. 50by60 can testify, for several hours yesterday I was sure that 2:30 PM Eastern time was 5:30 PM Western time — three hours ahead, rather than three hours behind.

So don’t look at me! Consult your most modern, up-to-date timekeeping devices and enjoy your respite from reality

And relax! Let’s be realistic — even those of us who voted for good ol’ Grampa Joe know he’s not going to solve everything — and chances are he’ll make some big, whoppin’ mistakes at some point.

Ssh, that’s enough outta you! Anyway, as that classic inspirational work, A̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶A̶s̶k̶ ̶A̶ ̶M̶a̶n̶:̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶K̶e̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶F̶e̶m̶i̶n̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶A̶r̶l̶e̶n̶e̶ ̶D̶a̶h̶l̶  — er, NO!! I mean The Bible, by God, says: Put not your trust in princes! (Psalm 146:3)

Especially you! So enjoy the day for what it is – a (possible) start to a (slightly) less crazy future!

Always!! See you next week!

Find some sanity, where you can!

Yeah, it’s nice to report that my weight went down a tad:

199.8

But with everything that’s going on in the world right now,

I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to put my puny li’l ol’ weight loss efforts at top priority. A bigger priority is just staying sane, when you’re surrounded by complete and total lunacy.

I mean, I don’t want to blame anyone in particular for all this stress and angst.

Still, I can’t help feeling that the best way to deal with it is to either get/stay as far away from it as possible, or, y’know, root out and dispose of the actual CAUSE of the problem.

So for now, I’m just gonna keep going out and walking or running, breathing in the fresh, clean air of Southern California

and doing my best to keep my head above water. And if things get any worse … well …

Welllll … let’s hope it doesn’t come to that! Sorry to sound so down, friends, loyal readers, and/or relatives, but I bet you all know exactly how I feel — and maybe it helps to know you’re not alone!

Let’s hope next week is a little bit brighter, shall we? Meantime, perhaps you’ll enjoy hearing about a time in history that was ALMOST as bad as this one!

See ya next week, I hope!!

Dominion rigged my scales!

Well, howdy, everyone! Here we are in the Future, the fabulous, far-away sounding year of 2021 A.D., and [squints] huh … well, gee whillikers, Batman, I, uh, hate to say this, but it kinda looks not all that different from 2020, so far!

Well, okay, calm down! Let’s just keep all our fingers and toesies crossed that everything gets better toot sweet! Anyway, I have some important business to attend to here, so without further adieux, here ’tis — the first Weekly Weigh-In of 2021!

200.4

What?? OVER that 200-pound line in the sand I set for myself? Is outrage!

How could that possibly happen? I’m a vegan, dammit, a vegan! Everyone knows vegans are SKINNY and cranky, not FAT and cranky!

Yeah, but but but — plant-based! Organic! Buzzwords!

Oh … yeah, okay, well, I guess I have perhaps overindulged in some of the super yummy vegan snacks that are all the rage now with the youngsters.

And yeah, perhaps I have been sitting too long in front of my various devices, staring raptly at the latest installment of Awkward Ashleigh Burton’s Millennial Movie Monday or Twinsthenewtrend!

But that still doesn’t mean I deserve to have my weight go over 200 pounds! No, it’s gotta be someone else’s fault! Therefore, I hereby demand that my bathroom scales — probably manufactured by Dominion — be hauled into every court in the land!

Meanwhile, I plan to huddle with my (imaginary) sycophants in my War Room (She Shed) to contemplate my next power move (counting my calories and getting up off my butt more often). Theoretically, that should boost the odds in favor of me returning to power (aka losing a pound or two) by this time next week!

See ya soon!

So long, sucky year!

Hey, everyone! Just wanted to get in one last post before this annus horribilus comes to an end. And let’s be honest, 2021 may wind up having a lot of sucky things in it too, but at least it’ll look a little different, in some places!

And in a few short weeks, we’ll have a new President (fingers and toes crossed!), which means I’ll have to come up with a whole new slew of memes!

But most importantly, as far as this blog is concerned, I’ll be starting my Weekly Weigh-Ins again, and we can (hopefully) start sending those numbers downward again!

Well, no, I think those of us who’ve reached this magical thing called “middle age” (and yes, I AM planning to live to be 125, so shut it!) know that at this point, we’re pretty much stuck with the “ME” we’ve been living with most of our lives (except for those magical years when we traveled with the Doctor in the Tardis, but since that’s been wiped from our memory, it doesn’t bother us too much anymore).

New “Doctor Who” on New Year’s Day! (Donna still hasn’t watched any)

So ENJOY your last week of Holiday Diet Break, everyone! We’ll start counting the calories NEXT week, okay? Meanwhile, SEE YA NEXT YEAR!!

We still miss you, Gilda!

Spambots need love, too! (an unofficial non-weigh-in pre-Christmas post!)

Hey everyone! As you know, I’m still on my Official Holiday Blogging/Dieting Break, so no official weigh-in or post till next week.

However, just wanted to take a few minutes to say THANKS to all of you for your moral (if not financial) support over the past year. It’s been a tough one, hasn’t it?

But believe it or not, 2020 is almost over and pretty soon we’ll be looking at it through our rear-view mirrors, muttering, “What the hell was THAT?” as we sip our Vegan Holiday Nogs, generously laced with a giant dollop of our intoxicant of choice.

I for one can’t wait! Still, I personally am not going to rest easy till 01/20/2021, if you know what I mean.

Oops, you’re right! ‘Nuff said, then! Well, till next week, this has been my PENULTIMATE post for 2020! Hope you enjoyed this little pop-in!

Oh, all righty then! Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, and Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice as well!

See ya next week! Oh, and “hi” to all my new followers, who based on their email addresses and the fact that they’re all trying to post spammy comments, are probably spambots. We’re definitely robot-friendly here at 50by60 (although not friendly enough to actually publish your spammy comments), so greetings of the season to y’all too!

Time for a Thanksgiving Blogging Break!!

Good morning, everyone! Since one turkey has been pardoned this week …

and since Thanksgiving 2020 looks to be, well, pretty much the way the rest of 2020 has been around the country …

I, for one, am MORE than ready to take my annual Holiday Diet Break!!

Of course, I may still check in from time to time here, even if I don’t post my weight stats till after January 1st, ’cause you never know what’s next in this crazy year!

Meanwhile, let me just wish all my loyal readers (you, and you, and, um, let’s see, oh yeah, you, I guess) a very happy Thanksgiving — you are hereby REPRIEVED from your dieting duties (temporarily anyway!)!

Oh, and P.S. (’cause I just HAVE to get one last one in!) —

The easiest Overnight Oats recipe you’ll ever find!

Hey, everyone! Without further adieux, I’m thrilled to report that the needle has finally moved! Drum roll please — today’s weigh-in:

196.0

Now that’s pretty cool, right? Three whoppin’ pounds down since last week’s near-200 squeaker!

Yes, in addition to (and perhaps even related to) my weight loss, I’ve also made a major life decision!


Well duh, but you already figured that out, right? No, the other big life decision is, I’m a vegan (again!)!

And this makes — let’s see — oh geez, at least the third time I’ve tried it during my lifetime. Back in the ’80s I lived for a while under the influence of some hipsters (well, they seemed hip at the time) who were granola-munching vegetarians.

But once I moved out and got my own place, I went right back to the hard stuff!

Then in the early part of the century (the current one!), shortly after my marriage to the longsuffering Mr. 50by60, I tried it again. On the one hand, it helped that, as a pierogi-munching Byzantine Catholic, he knew some good vegan recipes, since Eastern Catholics, as well as their estranged cousins, the Orthodox, go semi-vegan twice a year.

But it was really hard to find good meat and cheese substitutes back then, in the Dark Ages, P.D. (Pre-Daiya)! And after a long, arduous Amtrak train trip when Mr. 50’s menu featured luscious, well-cooked pasta with cheese, chicken, salmon, etc. and my vegan option was basically “yellow fake meat patty with rice” meal after meal after meal … I broke!

Yeah, I went back to the yummy dead animal carcasses and excretions! But long blog post even longer, two weeks ago I read Jonathan Safran Foer‘s new book, Eating Animals, and by the time I finished, I was done — and I done gone vegan again!

Well, not quite — there’s still that Overnight Oats recipe I promised in the title! See, I love oatmeal, but as we all know, as good as it is for you, it also has loads of calories! I decided to try this Overnight Oats thing I kept hearing about, but every recipe I found seemed to have a long list of ingredients, which always irritates me. Just give me the basic concept, and let me figure it out from there!

And the fact is, making oatmeal overnight is easy peasy lemon squeezy — although I don’t recommend adding lemon!

No, the basic and EASIEST O.O. recipe is the concept behind it! Basically, you just take one serving of oatmeal — say 1/4th of a cup — and put it into some kind of container, with a lid. THEN you add water — when I made it the other day, I put 3/4s of a cup. And THEN — you put the lid on the container, stick it in the fridge, and sleep the sleep of the just!

When you wake up in the morning and go check your container, you’ll be thrilled to find that science has, once again, proved correct, and that OATS plus WATER plus TIME equals an EXPANDED container of oatmeal which should last you for a few days!

Now, as Mr. 50by60 pointed out, it’ll be cold from being in the fridge, but you can easily just dollop out the amount you plan to eat and heat it up in the microwave or on the stovetop. That’s also a great time to add in your plant butter, sugar, etc. (Remember, though, even though sugar is “plant-based,” that doesn’t mean it’s suddenly become your best friend! Use it with caution!)

So there ya go (pant pant), a super long blog post with a somewhat anticlimactic sort-of recipe at the end, but y’know, you’re not paying for this so go complain elsewhere, ‘kay?

Ooh, sorry ’bout that! Well, that’s what happens when I don’t have my cofveve before blogging! I’ll do better next week, promise! Meantime, have a FANTABULOUS week, and remember — 2020’s almost OVER!!

Never, Ever Give Up! (unless you lost, duh)

So last week there was this election, and after all the dust settled and the votes were counted (even the “legal” ones), we have a new Hair Sniffer in Chief!

But in case you hadn’t heard, the currently reigning Infector in Chief has, so far, refused to concede.

And you can’t blame him — I mean, what with all the accusations of voter fraud out there. Sure, pretty much all of them are based on hearsay and unfounded assertions, but there’s gotta be SOMETHING, right?

Well, it’s all a tempest in a teapot, but if there’s one thing I agree with Current Prez about, it’s that there are some battles that are so important you just can’t bring yourself to lose gracefully.

No, you go down fighting! And that’s how it is with me and the Battle of the Bulge! Yes, my weight has been pushing slowly upwards, ever upwards, for months now —

— and sure, today’s weight is a tad up, again —

198.8

— but as we all learned from that fine documentary series, The Office:

And y/know, Michael Scott was right! As long as I can afford to pay for this verkakte blog which, yes, I actually have to pay a yearly stipend for it because SOMEBODY didn’t think to include “free blog sites” in any of their stimulus packages —

— I’ll keep counting the calories and hoping for the best! Meantime, let’s continue to hope that as we edge closer, ever closer, to that Big Giant Holiday Season,

I’ll be able to at least hold the fat at bay, long enough to get to the ever-popular New Year’s Resolution, which in 2021 is probably going to be something like:

Meanwhile, have a great week, and remember, count every calorie!!

(Oh and by the way, a HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY to all youse guys and gals!)

Now the news you’ve REALLY been waiting for — did I lose any weight this week??

Hey, I know we’re all excited about the presidential election,

but if you can just keep your nail-biting to a minimum for a few minutes, let me give you the REALLY important news of the day:

198.2

Well, down a pound … not quite what I was hoping for, but better than I expected, especially given that last week was, as you know, All Hallows Eve, which, of course, means lots of yummy, healthy CHOCOLATE!!

So between that and all the comfort food that at least 50% of the people in our household (hang on, let me count — one, two — yeah, that’s about right) will be indulging in over the results of that election, I’d say that’s not too shabby!

Oh, and also, Mr. 50by60 and I finally got to the series finale of Desperate Housewives last night.

Which not only meant saying farewell to what was a fun but, let’s face it, kind of a dippy series …

… but also a very real farewell to Kathryn Joosten, the actress who played my favorite character, Karen McCluskey.

So between that and … well … whatever THIS is …

I’m just happy my weight didn’t zoom right back up to 262!!

No worries — now that the weather’s cooling off,

I’ve been able to do more walks and even (gasp) a little running!

So hopefully that’ll begin to result in …

Yeah, well, of course, but also, perhaps …

… a bit of a loss next week? Anyway, I’ll keep my fingers crossed and let you know! Meanwhile, don’t let it get to you.

It’s gonna be okay — we’ll get through this, no matter what!

*oh, and fun fact which I’m REALLY annoyed I didn’t realize till after we watched the entire series — “Karen’s” late-in-life love, “Roy,” was played by Orson Bean, who was, among other things the father-in-law of Andrew Breitbart! How did I miss that? Anyway, RIP to both of ’em!

Hang in there … it’s almost over!!

Well, hey, friends and neighborinos! Welcome aboard! Glad to have you around for this, the penultimate Blog Before The Election! And this election especially makes us SO happy to be Americans, doesn’t it? Er … show of hands? Anyone?

Well, I don’t think it’s QUITE that bad, Your Highness! Still happy to have those free elections, not being required to join the Church of England, etc.!

Still, it’s a stressful time for a lot of people, so with that in mind, let’s just get this out of the WEIGH, shall we? (get it? WEIGH?)

Er anyway, without further adieux (hee hee!), it’s

197.2

And boy howdy, it’s nice to see them numbers headin’ downwards for a change, ain’t it? We’ll see if it lasts during the next few nail-biting days!

Meanwhile, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that tomorrow is my hubby’s birthday, so happy birthday, Mr. 50by60! Lookin’ good there!

Oh, and just FYI, this year Mr. 50 and I are on opposite sides of the political spectrum, which sounds bad, but look at it this way — when all the dust settles and we figure out who won, 50% of our household will be celebrating.

So whatever side of the political divide YOU’RE on, rest assured you’ll still be welcome here next week! If you’re happy, great! If you’re not, well …

And remember, we have to go through this again in four years, so ya better start preparing yourself now!

See you next week and remember, no matter WHO wins or loses, count them calories — it’s the only WEIGH!!