It’s fine to say it sucks!!

Good morning, everyone! Well, in spite of the title of this post, I’m happy to say my weigh-in doesn’t suck (at least it’s down a skoche!):

199.4

Whew, back a teensy beensy bit from that over-200-pounds-eek-eek-eek cliff!

I won’t breathe (or eat) easy till I get back under 195, but I hereby vow that I WILL accomplish that goal by the end of this month! Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Still, it really sucks that I can’t just go to my gym and hop on the treadmill for half an hour or so, or lift weights.

And it also sucks that I can’t go to the library and kill an hour reading the newspaper and magazines (like the old fogey I am).

And it REALLY sucks that I can’t spend a pleasant day driving from one favorite used bookstore to another.

What also sucks is that if I dare to say in public that any of these things suck, I run the risk of somebody chiming in, “Yeah! And they shouldn’t be allowed to close all those places! And you shouldn’t have to wear a mask at Costco! It’s all a hoax!”

Then there’s the other possible extreme, which I admit I’ve been guilty of as well — scolding the people who complain by insisting that they acknowledge what a horrific disease coronavirus is and the reasonableness of the shutdowns. “What? You hate wearing a mask? You must be one of those anti-maskers who wants everyone to DIE!”

And here’s the truth: I’m one of those people in the “mushy middle” who I’m betting makes up the majority of people right now. We hate the shutdowns and we hate the face masks, while at the same time we TOTALLY understand and agree with the reasoning behind them!

So why is it that we can’t just express our opinions without being lumped in with the extremist thought police on BOTH sides? And yeah, I know there’s some danger in “bothsidesism.”

I mean, I’m part of the Byzantine Catholic Church, which has been playing both sides of the Catholic-vs.-Orthodox divide for a few years now!

So honestly, I don’t really know what the solution is. Maybe just exercise a little kindness and compassion towards everyone you meet? I know that’s a long shot, but isn’t it kinda sorta what those of us who consider ourselves followers of that Jesus guy in some way, shape, or form are supposed to be doing?

I dunno, I’m not sure I’m articulating this very well. Maybe I should just go have breakfast and think it over. Or maybe you could tell me what you think, in that oh-so-seldom-used “Comments” section right below! Whaddya think?

Meanwhile, have a great week — and remember, even though it definitely sucks, wear the mask!

Ooh, so close (but not in a good way) plus a “geezer” joke!

Happy Wednesday, everyone! First, the bad news — let’s get this over with QUICK, shall we?

199.8

Eek! That’s wayyy too close to the dreaded 200 for comfort! Still, I’m not going to let it get me down because:

  1. All my clothes still fit,
  2. I can still go out on walks and hikes without any problem, and
  3. It’s just a number! And having worked for an accounting firm (two, actually!), I know that numbers can definitely be tweaked!

So there you go, it’s close, but there’s still a little wiggle room!

Anyway, let me just lighten the mood with what I swear is a TRUE STORY.

No, it really is! Yesterday I was hanging up some clothes on my clothesline (something I actually enjoy, since I don’t HAVE to do it!), when suddenly a very persistent bee started crawling around on one of the damp washclothes I had just hung up. And, swear to God/dess, I heard myself saying:

So I guess that makes me a — beezer?

Heh — okay, that’s it! Enjoy your week, and let’s see if we can tweak those numbers by next week, shall we?

Never thought I’d say this!

Well, after yet ANOTHER week of NOT doing the kind of exercises that I used to do, and weighing in at — let’s see here:

198.6

… I’m realizing that, in spite of all the times I’ve grumped and complained and basically Karen’d about various problems at lo, the many gyms I’ve belonged to over the years … I [leans closer; whispers] kinda MISS ’em!

Yeah, it’s true! Maybe just the act of going to a gym, changing clothes and going into an area full of exercise machines makes you … I dunno … more likely to exercise?

I mean, I do love the walking and the hiking and even the occasional (if I can describe what I do as) running, but let’s face it — sometimes, when the temperature rises to a brisk 110 degrees, here in the beautiful San Fernando Valley, a gal needs her air-conditioned, video-screened treadmill!

Can’t be helped, though — as you may recall, I quit not one but TWO gyms during the past year — Anytime Fitness and the YMCA — opting to stick with my beloved 24 Hour Fitness in Simi Valley. Which — guess what? is now closed!!

The one with the pool??

No, not the one with the pool! That one’s still open, but the pool and the hot tub — the ONLY reasons I ever went to that one — are definitely NOT available for use for the foreseeable future. No, it’s the other one — the smaller one, with the equipment that I actually USED from time to time!

Well, coffee won’t open the gym, but it won’t hurt! So sure, pour me another cup of covfefe, and let’s can close this week’s post with everyone’s favorite artiste, Weird Al, singing a truck drivin’ song. See you next week!

Grok this, babycakes!

Hey everyone! Happy Wednesday! Hope you’re doing extra specialerino today!

First, I’ve got a loss! Check it out:

196.0

No, it’s véritable, Dwight! (Although if we get any more of that Tillamook Extra Sharp Cheddar, it could all change next week!)

Anyway, I’ve also got some fun news — I have a new job!

Yeah, the transcription company where I’ve been toiling away for lo, these many months hired me to create a bunch of audio tests for new transcribers. It’s fun! Especially when I see the people who try to cheat by posting the answers to the tests on YouTube struggling to figure out how to spell the simple English words I throw in, like “grok” and “nihilism.”

Aw shucks, just comes natural, I guess! Anyway, it’s a little extra moolah to throw in the ol’ Roth IRA, which is pretty much all there is to use it for these days, what with yet ANOTHER round of coronavirus shutdowns looming over our fair state. Which, among other things, means I may have to give Mr. 50by60 another “home haircut.”

But it’s all worth it to keep  our poor hospital & medical personnel from being even more overwhelmed than they already are, at least in MY opinion. Your mileage may vary, but it might help if some of you would just STAY HOME already!

Sigh — if only I were in charge, this world would be a MUCH more perfect place! But I’m not, so it ain’t! Oh well, I can dream, can’t I?

Have a great week, and remember — wear the *#@(! mask!!

Lazy blogger says what?

Er, I mean, good morning all! How are you doing this fine day? I personally having a bit of trouble coming up with a new idea for a blog post this morning. Hey — maybe that’s a good thing! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’ve lost so much weight that it’s all coming from my brain!

Hmm, probably not! But let’s jump on the scales and see if there’s enough of a loss (or any loss at all) to make that outrageous claim, shall we?

197.2

dr who woohoo

Hmm … well, it IS a loss. But 0.2 pounds? Yeah, I don’t think that’s quite enough to justify my lame excuse!

Oh well — just so you won’t be deprived of a really GOOD blog post, lemme just piggyback on this morning’s post from Beating the Bounds, a lovely blog about lovely walks in the lovely United Kingdom! Enjoy, and I’ll see you next week with something slightly more original (though perhaps not as lovely)!

Lambert’s Meadow and Trowbarrow

The view from beside the Pepper Pot. I’m trying to remember whether or not the fields had been cut for silage at that point, or if the general yellowy-green hue is due to how dry it had been. I’m inclined to the former, because I know that the weather had broken by then and we […]

via Lambert’s Meadow and Trowbarrow — Beating The Bounds

Eureka, I’ve Got it! The Anti-Karen Solution??

So while I was growling over the weight GAIN this morning,

197.4

I tried to console myself by watching some of the new “Karen” videos that have bombarded my Facebook feed lately. Karen after Karen after Karen (female AND male), screaming in grocery stores, upscale fashion stores, and pretty much everywhere, all about how the Evil Government canNOT make them wear masks, and masks force them to breathe their own icky breath for way too long, and etc. ad nauseum!

And also reading about how in all those places where the Evil Government is NOT making them wear a mask, the equally Evil Virus is returning and the curve, which was sort of flattening — you know, like my weight was sort of dropping, until my gym closed down and life as we know it all kinda came to a screeching halt?



And I suddenly had a GREAT idea! Why not harness the power, energy, and all that pent-up Karen rage, and use it to our advantage?



First of all, if you’re one of the Karens going around yelling “Democratic PIGS!” and screaming that all the Democratic governors are forcing them to wear masks, please leave the blog for a few minutes. Okay? Thanks!



(looks around) are they gone? Great! Here’s the idea — and please feel free to pass this on to your Evil Democratic governator:

Make it ILLEGAL to go out in public WITH a face mask!!

Take a moment to mull it over, and you’ll see the absolute brilliance of this idea!

Karens in every Democratic-governored state will scream in anger:

You can’t take away my mask! You Democratic PIGS!!

and

I’ll give you my face mask when you pry it from my cold, dead FACE!!

MAGA 4EVER!! masks, manufactured by Trump Industries (basically, Karen personified) will proliferate everywhere,  and the economy will come roaring back!

Meanwhile, all of us (you and me, the ones who didn’t leave the room) will know it’s all a ploy to keep us safe from Hurricane Karen!

I’m sure there are some bugs in the idea, but I don’t have time to figure them out. Feel free to give me your thoughts in the comments!

See you next week!

Some common sense, for the butt-hurt amongst you

Okay, before I dive into yet another “Mildly Controversial” post, let me share some GREAT news with you — my weigh-in!

195.8

Yay, finally!! And if anyone ever tells you writing down your calories every day doesn’t make any difference, send ’em to me.

Now for the controversial part! Apparently a bunch of you (I’m using “you” generically, not talking about you specifically, MOM!!) are getting all upset because your favorite racist food names and/or logos are being retired, because … you know … they’re RACIST!!

And really, I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but if you’re reading this, you’re a dieter, right? So you ought to know already that most of the crap Big Food pretends is “food” is really just a big glob of high-fructose corn syrup mixed with way too much sodium and way too little nutritional value, right?

What I’m trying to convey to you is that if you’re all butt-hurt because Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, and Eskimo Pie are changing their names, you really need to get a grip on reality.

If it’s too hard for you, let me “blogger-splain” it to you.

These names and logos are based on racial stereotypes. We, as a society, in this year of our Lord 2020 A.D., have finally started to realize that. And the businesses that make all our Taste O’Crap and CrapTastic Brand Kwality Food Products are finally allowing themselves to be dragged, kicking and screaming all the way, into the 21st century, where we’re supposed to be treating each other as equals.

So they’re changing the NAMES and the LOGOS. But they’re NOT changing the FOODS!! You’ll still be able to suck on your Crap On A Stick or pour Fake “Maypel” Syrup on your plastic-enhanced waffles, if you so choose!

You just won’t be able to do it while gazing lovingly at a name and/or logo that was most likely inspired by a minstrel show!

And frankly, if you’re reading this blog, you should know better than to be eating all that fake stuff, anyway! What’s wrong with REAL maple syrup, anyway? They do still make it, you know!

So untwist your panties and stop doing your bad Archie Bunker imitations, ‘kay? ‘Cause that, my friends, is no longer kosher (if it ever was)!

Whew — all that righteous indignation is makin’ me hungry! Tell you what — next week I’ll share a couple of easy breakfast ideas that you can make with at least 50 percent REAL food! Meantime, have a great week! Oh, and by the way:

Back From the Brink!

Good morning, everyone! Sorry to be a little late. I’m been mixing my Trader Joe’s Breakfast Blend (coarse grind) with some pre-Covid era decaf, in order to save on trips to the store, so I’m having a little trouble getting completely awake and alert!

Hopefully that’ll be remedied soon (hint hint), but meantime, I’m thrilled to be able to report that, after coming justthisclose to my personal Danger Zone (200 pounds!),

I FINALLY started doing what I’m always telling YOU guys to do — writing down my calories every day and resuming a semi-regular exercise program (basically, long walks in the wilderness of Simi Valley, three times a week), I’ve got a decent loss to report! Ready? Here’s the number:

197.0


Yeah, that’s more like it!



Now, since I’m down to half-caf, I’ll just go have TWICE as much covfefe and maybe that’ll make me a little more alert!

See ya next week!

Confessions of a Karen

Welp, the weight’s pretty much the same (you can see it in the sidebar if you really need to!), so I thought I’d just share a few thoughts I’ve had over the past few days. Thoughts about a person you may have heard a lot about lately. That’s right: KAREN!

By now, you’ve probably heard the term “Karen” applied to a certain type of woman, almost always white, giving in to what seems to HER to be “righteous anger,” but to everyone else, just sheer nuttiness at best, and outright racism at worst. (And btw, for those who think “Karen” is sexist, there are DEFINITELY male versions!)

So I’ve been watching those videos and reading first-person accounts of people who’ve survived close encounters with an angry Karen, such as birdwatcher Christian Cooper’s disturbing run-in with Amy Cooper, with a growing sense of unease, and finally realized today that the reason I feel so uncomfortable is that I’m seeing MYSELF in that Karen mirror!

I mean, I’ve never called 911 on anyone, but I’ve definitely gotten angry with people for (just as an example) parking in “my” space in front of our house.

I mean, you know, it’s not actually *marked* in any way, shape or form as my space, and (true confession!) I myself have parked in front of OTHER people’s houses. And yet, I still feel this sense of entitled rage bubbling up from inside. “How dare they take something that belongs to ME? or do something that *I* feel is incorrect? or [worst case Karen scenario] be somewhere that *I* don’t think they belong?”

Most of the time, I’ve managed to keep my inner Karen at bay, kinda like Good Janet facing off against Bad Janet.

And as I said, I’ve never called 911 on anyone — but I sure do realize now that there’ve been times when I *wanted* to, for all the WRONG reasons that those other Karens have done.

So, what now? Maybe Lucy was right, all those years ago:

Maybe the next step is to be more aware of situations where my inner “Bad Karen” might decide to make an appearance, and try to defuse them before they go any further than my own mind, perhaps by channeling GOOD Karen, you know, the one who sang all those pretty songs.

Or perhaps just walk away from the situation, reminding myself of what all Karens seem to forget: WE’RE NOT THE POLICE!

And (SPOILER ALERT!) if there’s one thing I learned from binge-watching “The Good Place,” it’s that even the worst of us can improve!

Even Bad Janet became Somewhat Better Janet, in the end.

 So it’s not impossible that “Karens” can improve as well, if we’re willing to take responsibility for our actions!

Well, if you won’t, I will! Anybody else? 

It’s gonna be a lot of work — and it’s not gonna be easy. But it needs to be done. Just like (circling back to the main topic of this blog!) I need to start working on my diet!

But we’ll worry about that NEXT week. Meantime, take care of yourself and those you care about/for!

What year is it again?

What a week, huh? Seems like every time we start to relax, 2020 throws us another curve ball!

And sure, we could probably get through it if we just had some calm, sensible, reassuring leadership, either now or in the foreseeable future!

Yikes! Well, obviously we don’t, so I for one don’t feel inclined to get too excited about my weight loss, or lack thereof! Which brings me to the weigh-in:

198.0

which, all things considered, isn’t really that big a deal! After all, while I haven’t lost, I haven’t gained, either. And since losing seems to be the order of the day right now, I suspect I’m in good company!

(Although, in a twisted sort of way, he’s actually accomplishing quite a lot!)

But of course, as I’ve often said, this is a weight-loss blog, not a political one, so whether you support the Trumpster or the Hair Sniffer, you’re welcome here! Just be aware that I do have my opinions, and occasionally need to get them out in the open!

Well, since I’m paying $50 buckaroonies a year for the privilege of this WordPress blog, I’m darn tootin’ gonna have my say, so there, David!! Anyway, that’s the weigh-in! Hopefully by next week, the world will have calmed down a bit and it’ll stop looking like the ’60s are making a comeback!

See ya then, unless … well, let’s just keep the positive thoughts, shall we?