Hey, everyone, welcome back! Remember last week, when I said that because of the heat, you shouldn’t exercise? Well, guess what I did the VERY SAME DAY I posted that valuable information?

Yup, I went to the gym and did a full-on sweat-inducing workout! So there you go. I’m great at giving advice, but not so great at taking it — even (especially) from myself!

So what should I tell you to do THIS week that I’m not actually going to do myself? Hmm, so many ideas! Well, I could tell you about how you should always put a towel on your lap if you’re going to watch TV and drink soda while you’re (re)watching The Crown for the eleventieth-billion time, in case you get overly excited about how cute Matt Smith is, with *or* without a bow tie, and accidentally slosh your soda over the side of the glass.

Or I could tell you that, while calories are important, it’s also important to keep track of your other macros, like protein and calcium. Oh wait — that’s actually one I AM doing!

Yeah, and even though I’m now using a pen and a humble pad of paper to keep track of my calories, I’ve also added a column for protein. Haven’t done one for calcium, mainly because I already know I’m getting plenty, what with all that yummy string cheese and yogurt.

Protein, though, is a little more difficult. Theoretically, the advice is to take in as many grams of protein as the weight you’re aiming for. So if you’re aiming for, say, 150 pounds, you should get 150 grams of protein. (oh, and by the way, my spellcheck keeps trying to change “gram” to “graham,” maybe because I just watched that episode of The Crown where Billy Graham tells the Queen that she should forgive everybody, even her evil Uncle, the former King, who tried to betray the country during WWII.

I think Billy actually gives Liz an “out” at the end (“Pray for the people you can’t forgive”) which is nice, given that apparently this guy was such a piece of work he actually tried to get Hitler to put him back on the throne. Seriously, what is with these British kings, anyway?

Well, Charlie will probably be okay (other than, you know, what he did to poor Di), but you know, Liz was pretty good at keeping the riffraff in check, so whether or not her kid can do the same is an open question. Good thing we Americans threw the Brits out of the Colonies, right?

Anyway, my advice for the week which I’m actually doing myself– figure out what macros you need to keep track of, then do it! Queen Elizabeth would have wanted it that way. Heck, Queen Victoria would have wanted it that way! Maybe even Mary, Queen of Scots — who knows?

That’s it, my weird dieting advice for the week — take it or leave it! And I’ll see ya next week!