Hey, friends and neighbors! Remember last week, when I bored you with the details of a dream I’d had just before I rolled out of bed to write this blog? Well, this week is going to be a LOT like last week, in that I’m going to drone on about a medical procedure I had yesterday!
The main difference between last week and this week is that I’m using the medical procedure to justify not doing a weigh-in this week. Other than that, if you really, really hate hearing about other people’s medical stuff, feel free to visit one of the many other fine blogs here at WordPress, like Penny Wilson Writes, and I’ll check back in with some diet-related stuff next week!
So what happened yesterday was, I had what’s called an MRI-guided breast biopsy. In case you’re wondering, yeah, it’s related to the MRI I had a few weeks ago. Seems they saw something “abnormal” in those images and wanted to check them a little more closely.
So I went to a wonderful place in Tarzana*, California called Breastlink. It’s the same place I had my last MRI, and let me take this opportunity to say that everyone who works at this place is wonderful and awesome! Special shout-out to JESSICA, the tech who guided me through the whole thing and impressed me with her professionalism, her kindness, and her more-than-slight resemblance to the great Lauren Ash of Superstore!
Thanks, Jessica! So basically, what happens in this type of biopsy is that you get propped on top of a table with two holes for your you-know-whats.
Then, once you get into a more-or-less comfortable** position, you basically stay in that position for an ungodly length of time, being pushed into and pulled out of the MRI machine, which among other things sounds like a car wash in high gear,
and then being poked and prodded and having needles stuck in and tissue pulled out and numbing agents and all sorts of other goodies.
It definitely wasn’t a fun experience! However, it wasn’t nearly as traumatic as I always assume this sort of stuff will be. In fact, the most traumatic part was that about 10 minutes into the whole thing, my left arm started falling asleep because of the way it was positioned on the very comfy pillow.
And of course I couldn’t move it because if you move more than an eyelash during an MRI they have to stop and start all over again, which I really didn’t want to happen! So I tried to ignore it, and on the bright side it made it a lot easier not to move that arm, what with it being, you know, COMPLETELY NUMB.
But then finally they pulled me out and I heard those blessed words everyone undergoing an uncomfortable medical procedure dreams of:
NO, not those words! I mean, sure, I love Jesus, but I’m not QUITE ready for that yet! No, the blessed words were, “You’re all done!” to which I muttered a weak, “yay!” and before I knew it, I was on my more-or-less steady feet (at least THEY hadn’t fallen asleep, that would’ve been embarrassing) and whisked to another floor for yet ANOTHER test (there’s always another test!),
a “gentle” mammogram, which means they don’t squish it quite as hard as usual,
and then I was all done! After Mr. 50by60 drove me home, I nursed my wounds with some comfort food from Trader Joes, and made the executive decision that I would definitely NOT do a weigh-in this week!
So now I just get to play the waiting game instead of the “weighting” game, get it? see what I did there?
But at least the MRI and the poking and the prodding are done, for now! I’ll get the results in a few days and will let you know next week. (If it’s bad news, the silver lining will be two weeks in a row without a weigh-in!)
So there you go! See you next week, when we’ll find out if this blog is going to transition from from Middle-Aged Lady Who Lost Some Weight to Middle-Aged Lady Who Wants To Show You Her X-Rays!!
(*Tarzana = named after Tarzan as played by a Canadian actor, who kept saying, “I’m Tarzan, eh?”)
(**spoiler alert: you’re never really comfortable!!)