So while I was growling over the weight GAIN this morning,
I tried to console myself by watching some of the new “Karen” videos that have bombarded my Facebook feed lately. Karen after Karen after Karen (female AND male), screaming in grocery stores, upscale fashion stores, and pretty much everywhere, all about how the Evil Government canNOT make them wear masks, and masks force them to breathe their own icky breath for way too long, and etc. ad nauseum!
And also reading about how in all those places where the Evil Government is NOT making them wear a mask, the equally Evil Virus is returning and the curve, which was sort of flattening — you know, like my weight was sort of dropping, until my gym closed down and life as we know it all kinda came to a screeching halt?
And I suddenly had a GREAT idea! Why not harness the power, energy, and all that pent-up Karen rage, and use it to our advantage?
First of all, if you’re one of the Karens going around yelling “Democratic PIGS!” and screaming that all the Democratic governors are forcing them to wear masks, please leave the blog for a few minutes. Okay? Thanks!
(looks around) are they gone? Great! Here’s the idea — and please feel free to pass this on to your Evil Democratic governator:
Make it ILLEGAL to go out in public WITH a face mask!!
Take a moment to mull it over, and you’ll see the absolute brilliance of this idea!
Karens in every Democratic-governored state will scream in anger:
You can’t take away my mask! You Democratic PIGS!!
I’ll give you my face mask when you pry it from my cold, dead FACE!!
MAGA 4EVER!! masks, manufactured by Trump Industries (basically, Karen personified) will proliferate everywhere, and the economy will come roaring back!
Meanwhile, all of us (you and me, the ones who didn’t leave the room) will know it’s all a ploy to keep us safe from Hurricane Karen!
I’m sure there are some bugs in the idea, but I don’t have time to figure them out. Feel free to give me your thoughts in the comments!
See you next week!