Best way to lose weight? Wait, wait!

So this morning, at around 6:30, I get up to let the cats out (for the first time).

cat out in

Actually, just one cat, Buddy, the Big Guy. He likes to go out and let the other cats in the neighborhood know, as early as possible, that our yard is HIS yard, and visitors will not be tolerated. Our other (newer) cat, Pumpkin, prefers to stay inside, cuddling into the soft, warm blanket for as long as possible. Which is what I do, too, after Weigh-In #1:

194.2
gotchu boo parks rec

I get back in bed, thinking about ways to break the horrifying news, in this blog, that I’ve gained over 2 pounds since last week’s weigh-in! And thinking of words that rhyme with “two” — boo?, coo?, doo?, yeah, “boo’s” good. I settle on “boo” and go back to sleep for about 15-20 minutes, till I’m awakened by an imperative little paw, with claws out. “Time for breakfast!” Pumpkin is saying.

cat claws back.jpg

So I get up, stumble into the kitchen, crack open one of those big giant can of Friskies Tuna and Egg,

friskies flaked tuna egg

which Buddy adores and which Pumpkin will eat, too, because she eats EVERYTHING.

hey mikey.jpg

Then, while they’re stuffing their cute kitty faces, I stumble back to bed, stopping on the way to check the weight again. Still

194.2
oh poo

“Hmm, ‘poo’ is funnier than ‘boo,'” I think, as I settle down in bed again, turning on my Kindle and doing a preliminary search for today’s memes. About 15-20 minutes later, Mr. 50by60 yawns, stretches, and decides it’s time to seize the day at last!

crappy diem.jpg

I decide to do one last weigh-in (third time’s the charm, right?) and am beyond thrilled to see that at some point during the past quarter of an hour, I lost over a pound of flesh!!!

waving at fat
Doctor Who, “Partners in Crime,” Catherine Tate & David Tennant

So, long story short, I’ve still got a gain to report, but not quite as bad!

193.0
moe moe moe

And yeah, it’s STILL a gain, a full one pound over last week, but hey, I’m OK with it! I’ve been weighing in at @194 all week, so at least it’s heading in the right direction — I think!

down up

Oh, and if YOU’RE unhappy with your weight this morning —

patience grasshopper.jpg

take my advice: go back to bed! Maybe you’re just weighing yourself too early in the day! Or maybe sleep causes weight loss. Who knows? I mean, they have sleep dentistry — why not sleep weight loss?

reagan great idea.jpg

Come to think of it, that’s JUST what happened in that Barbara Cartland romance novel I was telling you just a few short weeks ago! Hmm — maybe next week I’ll do the weigh-in at noon! I’ll hit my target in no time!

chance jim carrey.jpg

Meanwhile, have a great week, and remember: To Lose Weight, Wait!!

wait trump.jpg

One thought on “Best way to lose weight? Wait, wait!

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